Wikipedia:Peer review/1970 Bhola cyclone/archive1

1970 Bhola cyclone
I've listed this article for peer review because I wish to nominate this article for GA status.

Thanks, Vinegarymass911 (talk) 12:49, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Comments by Dudley
 * "one of the deadliest natural disasters in modern times" "in modern times" is an unnecessary qualification. List of natural disasters by death toll lists as the fifth most deadly of any time.
 * I think you should say in the lead that it was named after Bhola Island, and explain in the main text why it was named after this particular island.
 * "the prototype benefit concert, to raise money for aid, in 1971." This needs explaining. How was it the prototype, and what was its effect? (I assume you explain below, but I think more is needed in the lead).
 * "No country in the region had ever named tropical cyclones during this time, so no new identity was given". This does not sound quite right. Maybe "The storm was not named as at this time it was not the practice of countries in the region to name cyclones."
 * "the storm warning system that existed in East Pakistan was not used properly" In what way?
 * "Gordon Dunn, the director of the National Hurricane Center at the time, carried out a detailed study and submitted his report in 1961. However, the government did not carry out all of the recommendations Dunn had listed" The US or Pakistani government?
 * "and there have been at least six cyclones to hit the region. While it is unsure how many people were killed, it is estimated to be 300,000 to 500,000 people in total" Over what period? Also "not known" would be better than "unsure".
 * "This was one of the first times that a natural event helped to trigger a civil war." This is very dubious. There are many cases where natural disasters are believed to have helped trigger civil wars - e.g. it has been suggested that a volcano in Iceland caused a famine in France which helped to trigger the French Revolution. Also I could not access the archive source.
 * "The Soviet aircraft, which had drawn criticism from Bengalis" Why criticized?
 * "In 1971, ex-Beatle George Harrison was inspired to organize The Concert for Bangladesh, in part from the 1970 Bhola Cyclone, and from the 1971 Bangladesh Genocide and Bangladesh Liberation War" I am not clear what you are saying here. Also you say in the lead that Ravi Shankar was also involved.
 * "Although it was the first benefit concert of its type, it was extremely successful in raising money, aid and awareness for the region's plight" Why "Although"
 * "In December, the League of Red Cross Societies drafted a plan for immediate use should a comparable event to the cyclone hit other "disaster prone countries" December which year?
 * "In 1966, the Red Crescent began to support the development of a cyclone warning system" If it was back in 1966 you should say "had begun".
 * The last two sections are mainly unreferenced. Dudley Miles (talk) 22:16, 11 May 2016 (UTC)

Comments by Jason Rees
 * The Meteorological History needs some work and ideally needs to mention that Bhola would be an Extremely severe cyclonic storm if it occurred today.
 * It would be nice to find a classification for the system on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane wind scale.
 * I think that it would be worth combining the preparations and impact sections.
 * The Indian government received many ship reports from the Bay of Bengal that were giving meteorological information on the cyclone, but as Indo-Pakistani relations were generally hostile, the information was not passed on to the Pakistani government. The source only specualtes that the information was not passed on.
 * I may help work on some of these bits and pieces.Jason Rees (talk) 23:16, 12 May 2016 (UTC)