Wikipedia:Peer review/2007 Kansas City Chiefs season/archive1

2007 Kansas City Chiefs season[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe this article is very informative and broad. Just about everything is referenced. I think the Game Summaries might need to be re-done (I didn't contribute to those, instead I worked heavily on off-season, statistics, etc), but other than that, I think this article is great how it is.

Thanks for your time, conman33 (. . .talk) 06:48, 14 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)[edit]

Wow, a huge article, I'll do my best to provide some useful comments!

Don't have links in the emboldened part of the opening sentence per WP:LEAD#Bold title.
Use the en-dash to separate scores so instead of 4-12, use 4–12.
Usually only a max of four paragraphs in the lead - consider merging some of the existing short paragraphs.
"leaving the door open" - reads a little journalistic.
Some of the lead is cited and some isn't. Be consistent. In general, statements in the lead will be expanded upon in the main body so the citations could all appear there.
Why three citations for a single (pretty minor) claim of when the schedule was announced?
"December 30th" - see WP:DATE for correct formats.
What's CBS? Remember that non-American non-NFL experts need to understand this.
Reiterating the fact that the scores, records etc should be separated by en-dash.
Roster needs a key so us non-US football experts understand what the acronyms all mean.
Free agency table needs a key for position and why are some Contract lengths given and some not?
Additions and departures could do with being either a paragraph of prose or a table, not just a lot of (effectively speaking) bullets.
Regular season table needs a key.
You've got about twenty or so dead links, see this link.

That's about it for me to start with. The match reports are a little over-jargoned too but that'd need to be copyedited by a non-NFLer. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:38, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]