Wikipedia:Peer review/Al Gore/archive1
Al Gore[edit]
How can this be a better article? Please tell. 11kowrom 18:33, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
A few points, mostly focusing on style rather than content:
- Subheadings are overused. For example, the "Education" subheading is unneeded as education fits under "early life" without it. See Wikipedia:Manual of Style/(headings). Several subsections should be merged in the Vice president section, and from the Private citizen section onwards. Ideally, the TOC should be half its current size.
- On a similar note, one paragraph sections should be avoided where possible.
- The article could do with a thorough copyedit, to improve akward sentences such as "Gore switched majors and worked hard in his government courses and graduated from Harvard in June 1969 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in government."
- Try to convert bulleted lists to prose as much as possible.
- The section on the 2004 election looks disproportionately long, given that he was not a candidate.
- The "Internet and the Webbys" section is a mess, and should be continuous prose rather than small chunks of trivia. This section uses a different referencing style to the rest of the article.
Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 19:39, 18 July 2006 (UTC)