Wikipedia:Peer review/Eyeshield 21/archive1

Eyeshield 21
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I think it's almost prepared for a GA nomination. However, before of nomination I want someone to check it again since Baffle gab1978 did a copy-edit but recommended that I came here.

Thanks, Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:59, 25 April 2013 (UTC)

DragonZero GA review
I'll review it as if I'm reviewing it for GA.

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * Plot has a lot of useless side details that will confuse readers.
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

Issues

 * First paragraph, concision. His attending of the school because of Mamori Anezaki is unnecessary detail. Combine Sena's abilites sentence with Yoichi Hiruma's notice sentence. Riku does not need to be mentioned. After trimming, you can combine it with the second paragraph.
 * Overall concision in the plot section
 * Source the director change. The links themselves don't give episode numbers or anything.
 * You can just source it with the episode credits if its there.
 * Ref 3, 18, 29 are dead. Why isn't 29 in a citeweb template?
 * Be consistent with date style
 * "but before its completion, the streaming service was shut down" Source doesn't say that? Source confirms it shut down though.
 * Citation needed in CD. You can source them primary I guess. From my experience, I usually find a theme song list from the anime's site.
 * Done. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 16:12, 29 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Best Album reference in CD is in all caps, decapitalize all but the first letter in each word. Search the article for more all caps.
 * "which appears to have the rights to produce" Wording suggests OR.
 * There are some double spacings in the article. I started noticing them in the Video game section

Suggestions

 * Lead=yes in nihongo
 * Done. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 16:12, 29 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Personal preference on my part but you can add spaces to citeweb/book so its easier to navigate

Comments
I guess I fixed all issues you pointed:
 * I have concised the plot even discarding some fait divers.
 * I cannot find a reliable source for the director change since the only sources I have is the Japanese Wikipedia and the Anime News Network (the encyclopedia).
 * I archived all of them, and I removed the former 29 source.
 * I guess all dates are in the "M D, Y" format.
 * I cannot find a reliable source for this, and my only source is Toonami Jetstream article, so I removed it and put new information from reliable sources.
 * I's like the plot, the source is the own series; but if really necessary, the TV Tokyo site lists the opening and ending themes, although the site only show the currently (or the last) op and end theme, in other words it wiil be necessary to use the Web Archive, and cite in pairs, that will result in a lot of sources.
 * Done.
 * I rewrote it.
 * I guess I fixed all spaces. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 05:35, 29 April 2013 (UTC)
 * When you reply, can you put them under the points so I know what you're replying to? DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 08:21, 29 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Well that's all I found. It would be what I consider level GA. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 09:43, 30 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Ok. Thank you to review. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 23:46, 30 April 2013 (UTC)

Can you analyze if the removed text can return? Baffle gab1978 removed the part referenced by DVD Talk, saying it seems a non-reliable source but YuYu Hakusho, a GA, use this source. What do you think about? Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:34, 1 May 2013 (UTC)
 * It should probably stay removed. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 06:35, 1 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Ok. Thank you again. Can someone finish it? Gabriel Yuji (talk) 07:33, 1 May 2013 (UTC)
 * You mean you want to close the peer review? DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 23:45, 1 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Yes. You already did the review. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 01:24, 2 May 2013 (UTC)

Close it when you feel like it. You can keep it open for other editors if they wish to participate. DragonZero ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 05:54, 2 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Yeah, you are right; I see no problem to keep this open. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:27, 3 May 2013 (UTC)