Wikipedia:Peer review/James Nesbitt/archive2

James Nesbitt

 * Previous peer review
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. This article failed FAC a couple of months ago, so I'd like to get some feedback on improvements before I renominate it. Thankies. Bradley0110 (talk) 21:49, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Looking at the FAC, the objections seemed to be mostly centered on images. I think this is pretty near FA, but the prose needs some polishing before another run at FA, so here are some minor suggestions for improvement. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 04:35, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * The lead sentence is very short - per WP:LEAD The article should begin with a short declarative sentence, answering two questions for the nonspecialist reader: "What (or who) is the subject?" and "Why is this subject notable?"[1] I am not sure the current sentence answers the notability question.
 * This might be my ignorance, but "Northern Irish" sounds odd - if it is the standard adjective, then it is fine, but could it be linked? Could it also be "...is an actor from Northern Ireland..."?
 * The lead seems to overuse he and his - the first paragraph has four sentences in a row that do not use his name (Nesbitt). I think alternating a bit more makes the prose more readable.
 * I also assume that readers will sometimes skip to the section they are interested in and try to have the first sentence of each section use the proper name of the subject (not a pronoun) but at least two sections use he instead of Nesbitt in their first sentence. Is there an antecedent to a first sentence?
 * I know it is difficult to refer to two different people with the same last name, but calling his father "Jim" seems a bit too familiar / folksy for an encyclopedia article. Could something like "his father" or "Nebitt's father" and "the senior Nesbitt" be used? Or could he be referred to as a teacher?
 * I know this is very picky but it is "The Troubles" once and "the Troubles" elsewhere. Or do sisters really hyphenate their names differently Sonia Forbes-Adam versus Victoria Forbes Adam?
 * In Personal life, should his charitable work be metnioned in the lead? it is half the section. Also should his affairs be mentioned in the lead?
 * I would be consistent on films, so his debut feature film, Hear My Song (Peter Chelsom, 1991) gives the director and year in parnetheses but other films just give the year
 * Quotations need to follow the logical quotation rules at MOS:QUOTE (punctuation outside the quote unless it is a full sentence being quoted)
 * Are there free images of any important people or places in his life that could be added?

Reply Thanks for your comments, and none of them were too picky! I've fixed all of the little things like grammar, 'hes' and 'hims', hyphens, and adding "Nesbitt" to the head of each section.
 * Regarding using his father's first name: I can't find the exact page with the discussion, but a similar question came up at the FACs for Ronald and Nancy Reagan. In those, it was decided that if two people in the article had the same last name, the subject of the article should be referred to by their surname and the other person/people by there first name. As for it being too informal, the sources I've used indicate his father was always "Jim" and never "James".
 * I've added a short clause to the lead about his philanthropy but am hesitant to add anything about the affairs because a) it could be a BLP violation and b) it really is none of our business. The way I've structured the paragraph in the personal life section is to refer to the tabloid stories rather than their content. For some weird reason, the tabloid stories made their way in the actual news at the time, so they're too big not to mention, but I'd still rather keep it to a minimum.
 * As far as I can see, all the films that need to be are followed by director and year. Some aren't because the director is mentioned in the preceding text (e.g. "...his first appearance in a production directed by Michael Winterbottom; he later appeared in Go Now (1995), Jude (1996) and Welcome to Sarajevo (1997)." compared to "Also in 2004, he filmed the roles of Ronnie Cunningham in Millions (Danny Boyle, 2004), and Detective Banner in Match Point (Woody Allen, 2005).")
 * For the opening sentence, current consensus at WP:ACTOR is to avoid anything that might violate WP:NPOV ("James Nesbitt is a Northern Irish actor who has been nominated for a BAFTA award and four IFTA awards"/"John Smith is a film director whose films have grossed over $6bn worldwide") in favour of fleshing out who the person is in the lead itself.
 * For "Northern Irish actor" vs "Northern Ireland actor", I'm not really sure about this. I've always known people to describe themselves as or be described as "Northern Irish". Personally, I reserve "a person from Northern Ireland" for articles where it isn't clear whether the subject considers themself Northern Irish, Irish or British. In this case, Nesbitt has often said he is "Northern Irish". However, I'll raise the point at WP:NIR to see if there is a "correct" terminology.

Thanks again for your help. Bradley0110 (talk) 14:58, 12 July 2009 (UTC)