Wikipedia:Peer review/Mackinac Island/archive1

Mackinac Island
I would like to improve this to good, maybe featured status in the future. Besides citations, I need to know what needs the most improvement. Mr.Z-man  talk ¢ 02:31, 24 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 22:38, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

bcasterline
This is an old nomination, but some comments anyway: Overall, looks comprehensive. -- bcasterline • talk 23:42, 8 March 2007 (UTC)
 * "Description" would benefit from some more inline citations.
 * The trivium about William Beaumont under "Early commerce" is not obviously relevant. I would either add more information about the incident or remove it.
 * The information under "Miscellaneous topics" should be incorporated into other things (which I think I can be) or removed. WP:TRIV is good advice.
 * Thank you, I'm in the process of rewritng/sourcing and I have not quite gotten to the Description section, but I will take your advide on the Beaumont trivia and eliminate or reduce it. Mr.Z-man  talk ¢ Review! 23:49, 8 March 2007 (UTC)


 * Adding a bit more about all the different historic places on the island wouldn't be amiss. You've got Fort Mackinac and the Grand Hotel, but there are some others too. I rated it a "B", though, for the WP:NRHP, 'cause it's at least that good right now, IMHO. :) --Ebyabe 19:56, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

AnonEMouse
Good work. Get these issues, especially the citations, fixed, and I'd mark it as WP:GA. --AnonEMouse (squeak) 19:41, 13 March 2007 (UTC)
 * The city of Mackinac Island occupies the entire island as well as all of Round Island...Round Island is currently uninhabited - If not directly contradictory, it's close. Something uninhabited isn't usually thought of as being occupied. How about "includes" rather than "occupies"?
 * Use of citations are weird. Some of the later paragraphs have no fewer than 4, while the earlier paragraphs don't have any. Spread them around a bit, please. In the later paragraphs, how about moving some of the citations to the specific sentence, rather than just after the paragraph as a whole? Otherwise it's not clear what is actually backed by citations, and what isn't.
 * Cite that Round Island is owned by the forest svce; cite fort george/fort holmes; cite the numbers; cite that no camping is allowed ...
 * geoglogic?
 * disambiguate the link to Somewhere in Time (film).
 * Federalist, Colonial, Greek revival. - needs "and"
 * Scouts perform such duties as... long awkward sentence, break up.
 * Scouts must march from location to location... ditto.
 * This is as opposed the the French army's choice - what?
 * Okay, I've fixed the grammatical, spelling, and DAB things. I moved as many refs as I could to make them more specific as to what they cite but most are used for either the whole paragraph they follow or multiple sentences scattered in the paragraph. The most offending section was culture, but those are now all distributed. I'm still working on "Description". I'm probably going to end up removing much of it as Wikipedia is NOT a travel guide and there is already an article about Mackinac Island, the town. Mr.Z-man  talk ¢ Review! 21:05, 13 March 2007 (UTC)

--AnonEMouse (squeak) 16:08, 14 March 2007 (UTC)
 * Don't kill yourself, or remove too much, you need to say why it is unique and interesting. The section is only 17 sentences, maybe 10% of the article. I like it. :-)
 * "Every summer, the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of Michigan live and work on the island in alternating weeks." - all the G&BS of MI? Is it a requirement for all MI scout troops? If not all, rephrase, and state how many (both raw numbers, and percentage or fraction). Do G&BS from any other states participate? If not, are they not allowed to, or just not interested?
 * Can probably remove the parens from around (when in groups), I got nasty comments about using any parens in my FAC
 * uniforms are held to a much higher standard - what does that mean?
 * operting
 * I've already fixed up the Description section before your comment, I only removed what was just random facts to make it seem more coherent. The main source for the scouting section seemed to say that there is no set number of troops or scouts and that not all scouts from a troop attend. It said there is a minimium of 50 though. I clarified "higher standard" to "full dress uniform is required when on duty or walking in public." Only in 1 year were other states invited (1940), so I don't think it is too relevant. I also added some of the selection criteria. I've also nominated it for GAC. Mr.Z-man  talk ¢ Review! 22:15, 14 March 2007 (UTC)