Wikipedia:Peer review/Tottenham Hotspur F.C. season 2007-08/archive1
Tottenham Hotspur F.C. season 2007-08[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…I feel this is good enough for GA-class, has excellent information for all those interested in this season for Tottenham Hotspur F.C. with a good collection of citations.
Thanks, Govvy (talk) 20:58, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
- Comments
- There are some weasel words that need sorting, for example "Tottenham were earmarked by many..." Earmarked by who?
- Some of the dates are not in the standard format specified in the manual of style. May 11th, 2008 should be 11 May 2008.
- Per WP:DASH, you need to use the dash, rather than the hyphen for scores and seasons. So 2-1 should be 2–1, and 2007-08 should be 2007–08.
- I don't think you should hide your references, they are important. I'm not sure if there is a policy or guideline on this though.
- The last sentence in the main prose section ("With the 2008-09 season set to begin...") is problematic. It is too long, heavily point of view and is not cited. In general the prose section could do with a few more citations.
- Numbers less than ten are generally written in words, so "7 points" would become "seven points" for example.
- The Premier League table is a little busy, colour-wise. If I'm reading this article, I'm interested to find out where Spurs finished so this should be immediately obvious. I would therefore probably not colour in any of the other teams, or at least make Spurs more prominent in the table.
Hope this helps for starters. --Jameboy (talk) 21:30, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments from ChrisTheDude (talk · contribs)[edit]
Quite a bit of work to do here, I think. Specifically........
- Lead is only one sentence, it needs expanding massively
- "5th" should be "fifth"
- "Tottenham were earmarked by many" - like who? Desperately needs a source. In fact the first three paragraphs (with the exception of one sentence) are completely unreferenced.
- "The Premier league 2007-08 season" - "League" should have a capital, also this should be wikilinked
- Sunderland not wikilinked
- "7 points" should be "seven points"
- "Tottenham continued to demonstrate poor form" - POV, needs to be rewritten
- "This disastrous start" - POV, needs to be rewritten
- Manchester City et al need to be wikilinked
- "Top 4" should be "top four"
- "Uefa Cup" should be "UEFA Cup"
- "during Spurs' loss to Getafe in the Uefa Cup, It was....." - "it shouldn't have a capital letter in the middle of a sentence
- Currently Martin Jol is wikilinked the second time his name is mentioned, but not the first - should be the other way round
- No need to wikilink Juande Ramos three times in three consecutive sentences
- Blackpool not wikilinked
- Standard practice is to use unsponsored names of competitions therefore it should be Football League Cup, not Carling Cup
- " a 2-0 win over Blackpool in the Carling Cup, Immediately following...." - I think "immediately" is meant to be starting a new sentence, so there should be a full stop after "Cup", not a comma
- "it was made clear in the public forum...." - reference?
- "Carling cup" - capital letter needed on "Cup"
- "ending Citys' 100% home record." - should be "City's"
- Dates not correctly formatted/wikilinked eg January 27 2008
- "Spurs went out of the FA Cup Fourth Round" - more accurate to simply say they went out of the FA Cup
- "went out of the FA Cup Fourth Round to a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Manchester United at Old Trafford. Tottenham took the lead through Robbie Keane but eventually lost to Manchester United" - as you've already established they were playing Man U, it is not necessary to state who they lost to
- "league cup" should be capitalised, also it is wikilinked to a disambig page rather than an article
- "Tottenham were eliminated from the UEFA cup in the last 16 round by PSV, The first leg...." - no need to wikilink Tottenham yet again, "cup" should be capitalised, and sentence once again ends with a comma
- "heralded a 1-0 defeat for tottenham" - capital needed on the club's name (occurs again in the next sentence)
- "Tottenham's achievements ranging from terrible football...." - playing "terrible football" is hardly an achievement!
- "Tottenham are, once again, being tipped as a team to challenge the top 4" - once again, completely unsourced weasel words
- "....will mean the Tottenham fans, and indeed the club itself, will be expectant of that also, but if one thing is for sure, that is Tottenham will be adamant that they vastly improve on their mid-table finish of this season." - completely unsourced, written in an unencyclopedic style, could be dispensed with completely
- Manay headings use unnatural capitals eg "Premier League Table" - no need for a capital T
- Ditch all the colour in the table, it looks horrible
- "The team kit for the 2007-08 season is produced by Puma and the main shirt sponsor is Mansion" - should be in past tense, the season is over
- Why is the "Injury List" in an apparently completely random order?
- Friendlies - some have attendance as "N/A" - did nobody turn up? If the figure wasn't reported, better to put "not reported" or similar
- Personally I would put commas in the attendance figures eg 30,000 not 30000
- Why are the references hidden? There's only 39, so it's hardly going to unduly extend the article to show them
Hope the above helps! -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 08:04, 9 July 2008 (UTC)