Wikipedia:Peer review/Uncle Tom's Cabin/archive1

Uncle Tom's Cabin
A few months ago I brought this article up to Good Article standards; I'm now trying to turn it into a Featured Article. Because this is a large and complex subject, I could really benefit from others looking at it with unbiased eyes and telling me what needs to be improved. Thanks,--Alabamaboy 01:58, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

Review by Awadewit
This article was a pleasure to read. It was so nice to read a well-researched and well-written article. Although my comments my look extensive, they are mostly small comments about the writing. Since you stated that you were trying to turn it into an FA, I tried to look at the article with a fairly critical eye.
 * Uncle Tom's Cabin, or, Life Among the Lowly is a novel by American author Harriet Beecher Stowe which treats slavery as a central theme. - This is an awkward opening sentence. How about something like "Uncle Tom's Cabin, or Life Awmong the Lowly is American Harriet Beecher Stowe's novel about slavery and [insert another theme]."
 * I would put the publication date of the novel in the first paragraph, even if you have to put it in parentheses after the title.
 * Stowe, a Connecticut-born teacher at the Hartford Female Academy and an active abolitionist, first published this book on 20 March 1852. - You are trying to pack too much into this sentence - break it up. Also, "this book" should probably be replaced by the title since we have started a new paragraph.
 * The story focuses on the tale of Uncle Tom, a long-suffering black slave around whose life the other characters—both fellow slaves and slave owners—revolve. - The other characters don't revolve around him, their stories or narratives do, though.
 * The novel depicts the harsh reality of slavery while also showing that Christian love and faith can overcome even something as evil as enslavement of fellow human beings. - This is a highly sentimentalized novel - don't ignore that in the lead. (Also, "the enslavement.")
 * The book also created and spread several common stereotypes about blacks, many of which endure to this day. - "spread" is redudant since you have "many of which endure to this day"
 * The heading "Origins" is a bit vague - could it perhaps be made more precise? Maybe something like "Sources for the novel"?
 * Is there a reason that sometimes the article uses the term "African-American" (such as the person being mentioned is of African descent) and sometimes uses the term "black"? I just want to make sure that the editors have thought through their choice of words here as these can be highly-charged words.
 * where he helped other fugitive slaves arrive and become self-sufficient, and where he wrote his memoirs - "arrive" doesn't quite convey the meaning you want - "escape"? "settle"? - it is not clear what you mean; also the "memoir" clause seems tacked on
 * Henson was one of the first escaped slaves from the United States to write of his experience - what experience? escaping or being a slave or both? explain just a bit more
 * American Slavery As It Is: Testimony of a Thousand Witnesses, a volume co-authored by Theodore Dwight Weld and the Grimké sisters, is also identified as a source of some of the material. - one-sentence paragraphs are generally not considered sufficient; also "a source of some of the material" for what? the novel? again, just a bit more explanation is needed
 * Uncle Tom's Cabin was first published as a 40-week serial, Uncle Tom's Cabin; or, Life Among the Lowly published in the National Era, an abolitionist periodical, starting in the 5 June 1851 issue. - too many clauses separated by commas and repetition of "published"
 * While Stowe questioned if anyone would read Uncle Tom's Cabin in book form, publisher John Jewett of Jewett & Company convinced her to let him do just that. - "that" does not have a clear reference - rephrase for clarity
 * The book eventually became the bestselling novel in the world during the 19th century (and the second best-selling book after the Bible), with the book being translated into every major language. - dangling modifier
 * The "Plot summary", to me anyway, is broken into too many subsections. Can you either condense the whole plot summary and make it one section or make fewer subsections?
 * because he considered that loveable old man to be his good friend - awkward
 * Mr. Shelby has sold Tom and Harry to the slavetrader Haley - first time we see his name - give both first and last names of Haley
 * She departs in the night - verb is too tame
 * Tom and Eva come to relate to one another in a very special way, sharing a deep Christian faith between them - "very special way" is too vague
 * As Eliza and her husband George Harris, who ran away previously - ran way from where?
 * As Eliza and her husband George Harris, who ran away previously, attempt to reach Canada, they are cornered by Loker and his men, causing George to shoot Loker. - whole sentence is awkwardly worded - too many clauses; also who is Loker? this is the first we hear of him
 * After Tom has lived with the St. Clares for two years, Eva grows very ill. - not clear how these two things are related
 * which renews his resolve to remain faithful with Christ, even unto death - "faithful to Christ"
 * I don't think that the character descriptions add a lot to the page. Most of the information is a repeat of what is in the plot summary or the later analysis. I would suggest eliminating that section and integrating the leftover information into the plot summary and other sections.
 * while the book elicited praise from abolutionists - "abolitionists"?
 * Sometimes the page hyphenates "best-seller" and sometimes not. Choose a consistent style.
 * Uncle Tom's Cabin outraged people in the American South[11] and was roundly criticized by supporters of slavery. - lack of parallel structure
 * Reactions ranged from a bookseller in Mobile, Alabama who was forced to leave town for selling the novel[11] to threatening letters sent to Stowe herself (including a package containing a slave's dismembered ear). - lack of parallel structure
 * ''led her to create wrong descriptions of the region" - "inaccurate" perhaps?
 * as evidenced by the novels best-selling status - awkward and missing apostrophe
 * ocusing Northern anger at the injustices of blacks - "anger on the injustices"
 * Uncle Tom's Cabin also created great interest in England. - "created" is not the best word here
 * I would transform your bulletted list of streotypes into prose and perhaps quote from the novel itself.
 * Could you expand on Gates' interpretation?
 * I would say that the biggest omission from your description of the novel is a discussion of its style. I see you have read Tompkins, so you are aware of the role of sentimentalism in the novel. Since UTC is a sentimental novel, some explanation of its sentimental style should be given here.
 * it contains a number of sections and discussions that are clearly disputing Stowe's book and her view of slavery - "that dispute" - it is not a good idea to say "clearly" as it may not be clear to your reader
 * The "Adaptations" section should also be turned into paragraphs. FAs tend to have very few lists.
 * Anything linked in the article can be removed from the "See also".
 * Can you reference specific page numbers in the footnotes? You reference entire chapters or articles a lot of the time.
 * Could you construct a bibliography out of the most important UTC sources in your notes so that someone coming to this page for research purposes won't have to pore over your notes? See A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, for example.
 * Are all of those external links absolutely necessary? FAs tend to prune the external links.
 * Watch out for commas - you need to take out some (in dates) and add some (in prefaratory clauses). Awadewit 04:32, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
 * Many, many thanks for your excellent comments. I'll go through them and make the correction and changes you mention. I'll also work on a style section or subsection for the article, along with the bibliography. Thanks again! --Alabamaboy 23:41, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
 * I've now made almost all of these changes. I've also added the style section Awadewit mentioned, along with a new themes section to go along with it.--Alabamaboy 23:34, 28 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Per WP:PR instructions, articles should not be listed both here and at WP:FAC; please archive this page and replace the talk page template with  Regards, Sandy Georgia  (Talk) 23:10, 29 April 2007 (UTC)