Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Tammy Duckworth

Tammy Duckworth
Hello, Tammy Duckworth is running for the Illinois 6th district of congress. This race has now be come heated. I have submited this article for peer review because I feel article is substandard, bias and non-encylopeidic. I feel it needs work to bring it up to the wikipdeia standards for Biography for Living Persons WP:BLP as well as Neutral Point of View. WP:NPOV For this to happen, there needs more editors, to help and improve the standard of this article. Thanks Chitownflyer 08:26, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

Electrawn

 * Serious WP:NPOV problems with all the criticism sections.
 * Early Life section doesn't answer Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. Specifically, why did she join the military.
 * Political career doesn't answer why she wanted to run for congress.
 * Citations throughout the article potentially violate WP:RS, blogs used too frequently.

I am not sure this start class article is ready for a full peer review. A WP:RFC may be a better idea. That said, I'll made my comments brief and general. Electrawn 20:14, 20 September 2006 (UTC)

Yannismarou
Electrawn has pointed out the main problems of the article. I don't think this is a bad article, but it needs work and a more thorough research:
 * Per Electrawn about the POV problems of the criticism section. What I mean: In this section Duckworth criticizes, but she is not criticized! Which are the criticisms against her? What do her opponents say about her opinions. Elaborate and expand the stubby sub-sections of this section.
 * Poor prose and incoherent writing. This is clear because of the main one-sentence paragraphs. The article is not a collection of phrases. The article must tell a story. Try to do it!
 * When you citate an online source, you must say when it was retrieved.
 * I accept blogs, if they donot constitute the main part of the sources. Try to enrich your sources.
 * Too many external links. Are you sure they are all necessary? And what is http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3979272153285983805 for instance? This tells me nothing! Explain what source this is. And again you donot sya when these sites were retrieved.--Yannismarou 19:53, 21 September 2006 (UTC)