Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2011-09-12/Opinion essay

''Rd232 was an active editor and administrator on the English Wikipedia from late 2004 until August 2011, when he retired. The following humorous poem reflects the experiences and interactions of new users and the established community, and was written shortly after retirement from the project.''

''The views expressed are those of the author only. Other editors will often leave opposing views and potential corrections in the comments section. The Signpost welcomes proposals for op-eds. If you have one in mind, please leave a message at the opinion desk.''

With apologies to Lewis Carroll (The Walrus and the Carpenter)

The Walrus and the Carpenter Were walking close at hand; They wept like anything to see Such quantities of junk: "If this were only cleared away," They said, "it WOULD be grand!" "If seven maids with seven mops Swept it for half a year, Do you suppose," the Walrus said, "That they could get it clear?" "I doubt it," said the Carpenter, And shed a bitter tear. "O Readers, come and walk with us!" The Walrus did beseech. "A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, On the wiki page: We cannot do with more than four, To give a hand to each." The eldest reader looked at him. But never a word he said: The eldest reader winked his eye, And shook his heavy head&mdash; Meaning to say he did not choose To leave the reader-bed. But four young newbies hurried up, All eager for the new: Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, Their fingers were clean and flew&mdash; And this was odd, because, you know, They hadn't any clue. Four other newbies followed them, And yet another four; And thick and fast they came at last, And more, and more, and more&mdash; All chopping through the frothy text, And blundering by law.

The Walrus and the Carpenter Walked on a mile or so, And then they rested on a rock Conveniently low: And all the little newbies stood And waited in a row. "The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes&mdash;and ships&mdash;and sealing wax&mdash; Of cabbages&mdash;and kings&mdash; And why the sea is boiling hot&mdash; And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the newbies cried, "Before we have our chat; For some of us are blocked already, And the rest of us a bit unsteady!" "No hurry!" said the Carpenter. They thanked him much for that. "A loaf of bread," the Walrus said, "Is what we chiefly need: Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed&mdash; Now if you're ready newbies dear, We can begin to feed." "But not on us!" the newbies cried, Turning a little blue, "After such kindness, that would be A dismal thing to do!" "The night is fine," the Walrus said "Do you admire the view? "It was so kind of you to come! And you are very nice!" The Carpenter said nothing but "Cut us another slice: I wish you were not quite so deaf&mdash; I've had to ask you twice!" "It seems a shame," the Walrus said, "To play them such a trick, After we've brought them out so far, And made them type so quick!" The Carpenter said nothing but "The butter's spread too thick!" "I weep for you," the Walrus said. "I deeply sympathize." With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size. Holding his pocket handkerchief Before his streaming eyes. "O newbies," said the Carpenter. "You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?" But answer came there none&mdash; And that was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten every one.