Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Nichols's Missouri Cavalry Regiment/archive1

TFA blurb review
Nichols's Missouri Cavalry Regiment served in the Confederate States Army during the later stages of the American Civil War. The regiment was recruited in early 1864 and officially formed on June 22. It participated in Price's Raid, an attempt to create a popular uprising against Union control of Missouri. It was part of an unsuccessful pursuit of Union troops after the Battle of Fort Davidson in late September. At the Battle of Little Blue River on October 21, Nichols's Regiment attacked the Union flank, materially aiding the Confederate victory. The next day, the regiment participated in the successful Battle of Byram's Ford. On October 23, Nichols's Regiment fought in the Confederate defeat at the Battle of Westport, which caused a Confederate retreat. The unit was part of the rear guard. The unit disbanded before the war ended in 1865. It had a strength of about 300 men in August 1864 and the casualties it suffered cannot be accurately determined.

983 characters, including spaces.

Hi and congratulations. A draft blurb for this article is above. Thoughts, comments and edits from you or from anyone else interested are welcome. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:08, 30 May 2021 (UTC)

SandyGeorgia
I think it possible to avoid saying in the first sentence that a cavalry regiment was a cavalry regiment, while at the same time addressing subsequent sentences that start with after. Current text is:
 * Nichols's Missouri Cavalry Regiment was a cavalry regiment that served in the Confederate States Army during the late stages of the American Civil War. The unit was recruited in early 1864 by Colonel Sidney D. Jackman, who had previously raised a unit that later became the 16th Missouri Infantry Regiment. After officially forming on June 22, the unit operated against the Memphis and Little Rock Railroad through August. After joining Major General Sterling Price's command, the unit participated in Price's Raid, an attempt to create a popular uprising against Union control of Missouri and draw Union troops away from more important theaters of the war.

How about ... ?

That's all I've got, Sandy Georgia (Talk)  21:29, 25 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Nichols's Missouri Cavalry Regiment served in the Confederate States Army during the late stages of the American Civil War. The cavalry regiment was recruited in early 1864 by Colonel Sidney D. Jackman, who had previously raised a unit that later became the 16th Missouri Infantry Regiment. The regiment officially formed on June 22 and operated against the Memphis and Little Rock Railroad through August. After joining Major General Sterling Price's command, the unit participated in Price's Raid, an attempt to create a popular uprising against Union control of Missouri and draw Union troops away from more important theaters of the war.
 * Done
 * redundancy ... the total number of casualties suffered by the regiment ...
 * Removed
 * I had to read this several times to sort it out ... In July, anti-secession state legislators held a vote rejecting secession, while Jackson and the pro-secession legislators voted to secede in November, joining the Confederate States of America and functioning as a government-in-exile. ... anti-secession ... rejecting secession is redundant, and who or what is functioning as a government-in-exile?
 * I've rephrased this to try to clarify and reduce redundancy; are things improved here?
 * As a result, Missouri had two competing governments. ... not sure competing is needed here, or is the best word ... had opposing governments ?
 * Went with opposing
 * Much better, Regards, Sandy Georgia (Talk)  00:22, 26 April 2021 (UTC)