Talk:Angel Bakeries/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:21, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I'll bite - am intrigued about company articles so will take a look and make straightforward copyedits as I go and jot queries below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:21, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~the company has always been on the cutting edge of innovation and efficiency.~~ ~~-unnecessary and impresses as promotional - let the innovations speak for themselves.~~

~~Erm, can you align the spelling of Bayit VeGan - which is right...?~~

~~Salomon Angel entered the business with his typical enterprising zeal.~~ ~~- somewhat effusive. Could be rendered more neutral I think.~~

water and flour were at a premium --> "water and flour were in short supply" (?)

~~Notwithstanding the emphasis on innovation and automation, Angel's challahs are still braided by hand.~~ ~~- sentence looking very lonely sitting there by itself - can it be tacked onto some paragraph somewhere?~~

Today the company, known as Angel Bakeries, owns and operates five plants: - don't use bolding in body of text. Also, can we get a date and ref for the name change?

Ovadia Angel and his team developed plant-based emulsifiers which were kosher, and later sold this new knowledge to other companies - any further information on this? This is one of the bits of the article that would be good to expand upon if possible - ditto the two hour mixer in the next segment. Any chemistry info a big plus.

DoneThanks for starting the review. I appreciate your comments. I did the initial copyediting for tone; I'll look up more references over the next couple of days. Yoninah (talk) 09:15, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I found a source available in Google Books snippet view which speaks about the plant-based emulsifiers. I was able to add only the little bit that I could see and use this source as a ref, but not much more. Unfortunately, my Hebrew is not good enough to look up articles on technical subjects like emulsifiers on Hebrew Google. I also could not find additional information on the 2-hour mixer. Regarding the company name change, I suspect it was in 1984, when the company went public and began expanding, but I am unable to find a ref; therefore I just left the two names in the lead, as people do call the company either way. Best, Yoninah (talk) 21:02, 13 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, that extra smidgen of detail is helpful - and you can only add what you can. Template a'comin'. Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:22, 14 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:

Citations to reliable sources, where required:

No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

Overall:

Pass or Fail:

Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:26, 14 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the positive review! Yoninah (talk) 10:53, 14 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

When will the GA icon be added to the article? Yoninah (talk) 14:04, 14 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]