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Talk:When I Look at You/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk) 10:06, 12 May 2010 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria[reply]

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:


Well written[edit]

  • 'Composition' section: "Jocelyn Vena, also of MTV News, interpreted "When I Look at You"'s lyrics to be about her dream boy." should be reworded to avoid the use of an apostrophe after speech marks. Maybe "Jocelyn Vena, also of MTV News, interpreted the lyrics of "When I Look at You" to be about her dream boy."
    • Likewise, the 'Music video' section: "When I Look at You"'s music video was directed by Adam Shankman, producer of The Last Song. should be reworded to The music video of "When I Look at You" was directed by Adam Shankman, producer of The Last Song.
      •  Done
  • Heather Phare's quotes doesn't need square brackets around the elipses "When she lets her [...] ballad-singing diva..."
    • If you are removing some of the text, does it need brackets? Because that is the scenario here. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 21:56, 12 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
      • No, the elipses (...) represent remove text. Brackets are used for added or implied text. Adabow (talk) 09:07, 13 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
        •  Done
  • Music video section Two alternate versions of the music video were later released: one replaces the cut-scenes of Cyrus and Hemsworth with clips from The Last Song and another for the song's remix featuring Bisbal. needs a comma, ie Two alternate versions of the music video were later released: one replaces the cut-scenes of Cyrus and Hemsworth with clips from The Last Song, and another for the song's remix featuring Bisbal. A rearrangement of references is also needed, see below.
    •  Done
  • 'Live performances' section: Cyrus is then emerged from the bottom of the stage while playing a white grand piano, sitting on a bench. Midway through the song, Cyrus stands up and continues performing while the video screens are brought down to Cyrus' height. should be written in past tense
    •  Done

References[edit]

  • The first sentence of the 'Background' section (about writers) needs a reference.
    •  Done
  • The plot of the music video needs a reference.
    • Actually, it does not. That would be like referencing a plot in a book or film. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 21:51, 12 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Two alternate versions of the music video were later released: one replaces the cut-scenes of Cyrus and Hemsworth with clips from The Last Song and another for the song's remix featuring Bisbal.[20][3] - these references should be re-organised so that citation 20 is placed after its relevant point (ie Two alternate versions of the music video were later released: one replaces the cut-scenes of Cyrus and Hemsworth with clips from The Last Song,[20] and another for the song's remix featuring Bisbal.[3]), or put the earlier reference first (ie Two alternate versions of the music video were later released: one replaces the cut-scenes of Cyrus and Hemsworth with clips from The Last Song, and another for the song's remix featuring Bisbal.[3][20]
    •  Done

Broad[edit]

Detailed and descriptive, yet not too long.

Neutral[edit]

No bias or unfair representation.

Stable[edit]

No edit warring, vandalism or unresolved discussions.

Images[edit]

  • Images have proper copyright tags, cover and music video shot have fair use rationales
  • Appropriate captioning

Final comments[edit]

There are a few minor problems that need to be resolved. I will place the review on hold for seven days, awaiting appropriate improvements. Good luck improving the article. Adabow (talk) 10:06, 12 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

All required improvements have been made. I am happy to pass the article. Congratulations!
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