Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hurricane Igor/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Ucucha 01:41, 11 January 2012 [1].

Hurricane Igor[edit]

Hurricane Igor (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Cyclonebiskit (talk) 14:32, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Regarded as the most destructive tropical cyclone in Newfoundland history, Hurricane Igor caused unprecedented flooding across eastern portions of the island, isolating more than 20,000 people. After falling by the wayside last time around at FAC, I've fixed up previous concerns brought up by reviewers and added some more information. I fully believe that this article represents the most comprehensive account of the storm available and meets FA criteria. As always, all thoughts and comments are welcome and encouraged. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 14:32, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. - Dank (push to talk)

  • Do you by chance have anything more on Operation Lama? - Dank (push to talk) 14:42, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • Anything specific? The majority of the second paragraph of Aftermath is about the operation. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 14:44, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • I'm not so familiar with Canadian military practices. I have a bias here; I'm aware that the only contact that much of the US public has with the military comes after disasters, including hurricanes, so these clean-up operations have a disproportionately large effect on opinion and even policymaking. I don't know if the same is true in Canada, but if your sources have anything more on the operation itself or reaction to the operation, it would be nice to see a subsection on the operation. - Dank (push to talk) 15:11, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Lede
  • SSHWS requires an endash, not a hyphen. Since the article currently uses a hyphen, I think you got it mixed up? Also, the preceding sentence looks fine to me; clear and concise. Auree ★ 18:15, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "completing this phase within hours after of striking southern Newfoundland." You mean it was no longer an extratropical cyclone, or you are talking about it as a tropical cyclone?
  • Changed to After turning northeastward, Igor began an extratropical transition, which it completed after striking southern Newfoundland. in a drive by copyedit. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:58, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The remnants of Igor were later absorbed by another cyclone on September 23" Er, being specific won't be harmful here
  • Not sure what bit of information you're looking for here. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:58, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "While over the open ocean, large swells produced by the hurricane resulted in three fatalities," Instead of using the latter comma, use an em dash
  • Changed to em dash. Not sure if it's me but the em dash seems a bit large, did you mean en dash instead? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:58, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with roughly 27,500 residences losing electricity" → "with roughly 27,500 residences having lost electricity"
  • "isolating roughly 150 communities" I'd recommend using a different word other than "roughly" as you used it just four sentences earlier
Meteorological history
  • "classified a tropical depression; at this time the depression was situated roughly 90 mi (140 km) southeast of the Cape Verde Islands." This should be shortened to something like "classified a tropical depression while situated roughly 90 mi (140 km) southeast of the Cape Verde Islands."
  • "at which time it was named" → "and was subsequently named"
  • "[[National Hurricane Center]] (NHC)" should be formatted as "[[National Hurricane Center|National Hurricane Center (NHC)]]" per this.
  • "Development of Igor quickly ceased once it was named as a nearby disturbance" Seems to imply that it was named after a "nearby disturbance" — I'd recommend using "while" in place of "as"
  • I can see your point if you cut out the remainder of the sentence but if read as a whole, I don't read it that way. Maybe someone else could lend their opinion too? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:12, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Agreed with the problem, but I'm not a fan of the suggestion provided. Overall the sentence is a bit odd, so I'd suggest rewording to "Igor stopped strengthening due to moderate wind shear from a nearby disturbance, which displaced the convection from its center" or something along those lines. Even that sounds a bit off, though. By the way, since this article largely covers a Canadian storm, shouldn't the spelling comfort to Canadian English ("centre" rather than "center")? Auree ★ 13:53, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with tropical storm-force winds covering an area roughly 680 mi (1,090 km) wide." You use "roughly" just one sentence after the previous usage
Bermuda
  • "the watch was upgraded to a warning as" Clarify by changing "watch" to "hurricane watch" or "warning" to "hurricane warning"
  • No other type of watch or warning was mentioned for Bermuda before so it can easily be assumed to be the hurricane watch in the previous sentence. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:12, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Bermudian government closed its schools" I thought residents/agencies/etc. of Bermuda were referred to as "Bermudan"
  • I thought the same thing but this was brought up in the previous FAC. It's Bermudian per the Bermuda article. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:12, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Against initial fears" Here, it seems to say that they occurred in conjunction or agreement with the fears; it would be more concise if you used "defying" or something like that
  • I'm not really sure what you're getting at here. Could you clarify this a bit? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:12, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
United States
  • "Rip currents in Florida pulled two people out to sea, who were rescued." → "Rip currents in Florida pulled two people out to sea who were later rescued."
Canada
  • "On September 21, the CHC" It sounds a bit strange when you use "on" followed by the date in the previous sentence and use it again here. I'd prefer "The following day, the CHC" or something of that sort
  • "In St. Lawrence, a confirmed 9.37 in (238 mm) of rain fell," Shouldn't that be a "confirmed total"?
  • "In Cape Pine, near where the center of Igor tracked, sustained winds of 80 mph (130 km/h)[nb 3]" Notes or refs should go after punctuation if possible
  • "it was noted as a 1-in-50 year event, including powerful winter storms." Clarify that you mean including winter storms, it would be a 1-in-50 year event
Aftermath
  • Guess that was fixed in one of the drive by copy edits. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "complaints were made by several people, including church ministers" Remove unnecessary comma
  • This was reworded as well by another edit to Over the course of the recovery phase, several complaints, including concerns lodged by church ministers... Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reluctant oppose on prose for now Comment - Thank you for taking this on again. The article is extremely comprehensive and well researched. Unfortunately, the prose is a bit poor in several areas, which I wouldn't expect from a FA. I've read through the article, and found that problems such as ungrammatical or unnecessarily wordy constructions (including dangling modifiers and "with + ing" setups) extend beyond the lede. The choice of words is also odd and informal in some areas (quickly scanning through the article brought up "Due to a overestimated bias in Igor's intensity," "Igor prompted the issuance of tropical storm watches", "Against initial fears, Igor left relatively little damage across Bermuda", "mass exodus", "The main complaint brought about was", "was to last for the duration of the emergency phase in the storm's immediate aftermath"). I suggest having an uninvolved copy-editor look it through. More specific concerns from the lede below. Auree ★ 18:15, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The origins of Igor were within a broad area of low pressure – within? Additionally, try avoiding the passive voice here (e.g. "Igor originated from a broad area of low pressure").
  • A prolonged turn towards the north was apparent by this time. – pretty awkward wording, plus I'm not sure what it's saying.
  • I'm not quite sure what is wrong with the current wording. Its saying that by the time Igor reached Category 4 status, a gradual [prolonged] turn to the north had become apparent. – TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 21:25, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I can see what it means, but the wording is quite odd. First off, it's in passive voice, and unnecessarily so. Also, "was apparent by this time?" It could easily be reworded using simple and concise prose (e.g. "Igor then made a prolonged turn toward the north", or if you wanna keep the past perfect tense: "By then, Igor had begun making a prolonged turn toward the north"). Auree ★ 21:50, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not a fan of using a broad term like "system" when much more accurate terms have appeared in the article ("hurricane", "cyclone", even "storm").
  • After turning northeastward, Igor began to transition into an extratropical cyclone, completing this phase within hours after of striking southern Newfoundland. – tighten to "After turning northeastward, Igor began an extratropical transition, which it completed after striking southern Newfoundland."
  • The following 'graph has a lot of the type of issues I mentioned before (dangling modifiers and such). Auree ★ 18:15, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sources - will do a check on formatting of sources, but before you address these I suggest reading this and applying any relevant changes recommended there for optimal formatting quality (especially cite template choice). Auree ★ 19:13, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sources need consistency in whether middle name initials for re authors are listed or not
  • Watch out for unnecessarily wikilinking to things like PDF, DOC, and TXT formats
  • Ref 13: Agence France-Presse is not work; Sydney Morning Herald is
  • Ref 15: Bernews should be work for consistency with other newspaper formatting
  • Ref 17: Check publisher/author formatting
  • Ref 20: Same problem as ref 15
  • Ref 25: See here (comments for Ref 13)
  • Ref 33: Author field is confusing
  • Ref 41: Same problem as refs 15 and 20
  • Ref 42: Nitpicking, but check title
  • Ref 44: Needs a closer look. I'm not sure if CBA News is just the hosting website rather than the publisher of the document. As for the actual document, it appears to have multiple chapters written by different authors with multiple editors... I'm not too sure, so I'll ask User:Fifelfoo to help out with this one. Auree ★ 19:13, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • I got Ref 44 and fixed it in the article. At its heart Ref 44 is an email, forwarded multiple times during email correspondence, contained in a set of government correspondence, that was then prised open by a media authority under Access to Information, and finally published under a pseudo-title by the media organisation on its website. I used cite report to get the "unpublished" type display, and then set |type=email archive. For the title of the Access to Information publication, I used the |series= field. As none of these titles are real, I used long descriptive titles for documents. Fifelfoo (talk) 20:56, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ah, I see that you found your way here already. That citation is a first to me. Thanks again, Fifelfoo! Auree ★ 21:04, 13 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support – This article is well-written and reads surprisingly well. Everything seems to be formatted correctly, and I'll leave whatever sourcing issues there are to Fifelfoo and Auraem. – TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 00:43, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Some comments by Mitch32(Never support those who think in the box)
  • I don't have much to say, but Hylian Auree's excellent FAC review mimics normally what I'd produce. He did a great job explaining it.
  • A nitpick personally, but is "the most intense tropical cyclone of the 2010 Atlantic hurricane season" necessary in the first sentence of the meteorological history?
  • "In the storm's wake, military personnel were deployed to assist in recovery efforts and aid distribution." – This one tends to want to me to ask to rewrite it, because it doesn't sum up the aftermath as well as the good-looking Aftermath section does. I'd at least mention the Ophelia issues afterwards.
  • You have List of retired Atlantic hurricane names see also'd twice. Is it necessary to see also both in the namesake section and within the Aftermath? I'd probably personally toss the Aftermath one.
  • "The main impacts" – From a personal standpoint, something seems very off in wording like this. Is there a different way it could be worded?
  • "Long seen to be within Igor's track, Bermuda was finally placed under a hurricane watch on September 17 as the threat became imminent." – I'd reword this, seems a little POVish to me, but people may disagree.

Just my stuff for you to work on. Mitch32(Never support those who think in the box) 21:07, 6 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Images are unproblematic. Nikkimaria (talk) 02:57, 7 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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