Wikipedia:Peer review/Justin Tuck/archive2

Justin Tuck[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

I've improved the article since the last PR. Please note that Tuck is a back-up DE (at the moment) and has been injured for a great deal of his pro career, so expansion of some areas is very difficult because there are no reliable sources found. Tuck is now a player on the rise and I have put a lot of hard work into this article.

Thanks, Endless Dan 14:44, 6 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Milk's Favorite Cookie (talk · contribs)

Overall the article looks close to GA. Some comments:

Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), avoid using special characters (ex: &+{}[]) in headings.
Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement.
This article is about a person, so add {{persondata|PLEASE SEE [[WP:PDATA]]!}} along with the required parameters to the article - see Wikipedia:Persondata for more information.
This article is well referenced. I would consider adding a "See Also" section as well.
Is this a reliable source? Seems like a blog too me. Find an alternative.
- That's it fro me. « Milk's Favorite Cookie ^{( talk / contribs)} 01:16, 13 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I agree with Milk's Favorite Cookie's comments, Here are a few more suggestions for improvement for the article:

The lead should be a summary of the whole article and nothing should be only in the lead - per WP:LEAD. I would add the first paragraph in the lead to the Personal life section or before the high school football section. Since the lead is the most important stuff, I would not include the fact about his father building the house in the lead in any case.
I would also add the details about the philanthropy in the lead to Personal life.
Do not use & in the text unless it is a direct quote, so change Growing up, Tuck's favorite football teams were the San Francisco 49ers[9] & Dallas Cowboys[10] but his favorite sport was...
Awkward language (heavily waged) Due to the game's low score, opinions were heavily waged that Tuck better deserved the MVP award over Eli Manning.[17][20][21][22][23] I also think it is always better to give specifics - i.e. say who felt that Tuck deserved the MVP.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:46, 13 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]