Talk:Janet Jackson/GA2

GAN on hold

 * I don't see the need for the use of ref 1 in the lead
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 08:15, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Ref 16 (and many others...check them!) need full formatting
 * note ref 16, 17, 19, 21, 24, 26, 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 38, 44, 46, 48, 56, 61, 62, 64, 65 do not contain Author information and are otherwise formated as correctly as I can tell. Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:07, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Yeah, author information isn't always compulsory - only if you know it, include it! dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 09:47, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "Jackson also appeared on..." - next sentence also starts with "Jackson also" - use some variety
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:12, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "six on the Billboard Hot R&B albums chart." - "Billboard" goes in italics. Same in the next sentence, and throughout
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:32, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "The album earned Jackson..." - check the overuse of "and" in this sentence
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Is there a reliable source saying where she got the Rhythm Nation title from?
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 05:36, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "maintained airplay on the radio for over two years" - "on the radio" is obvious, you don't need to say it
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "In 1999, Jackson secretly entered into her second marriage with dancer, songwriter and director René Elizondo; a marriage which remained secret until Elizondo filed for divorce in 2000" - why is this mentioned in the 1986–1992 section?
 * ✅ that was a typo. Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "In May 1992 Janet recorded..." - refer to her as "Jackson"
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:43, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "In 1998, Janet set out on the The Velvet Rope Tour" - again. Do a Ctrl + F for "Janet" and see what you find
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:43, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "Janet celebrated her 40th birthday " - found another one for ya!
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:43, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "of 7 million USD" - formatting; "$7 million"
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "appearance by rapper, Q-Tip." - comma not needed
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "Worldwide sales for "Together Again," according to Virgin Records are over 6 million copies, one of the largest selling singles ever from a female artist." - citation needed for all the records presented here
 * ✅ removed. Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 05:21, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Ref 33: Answers.com isn't reliable
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 05:21, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "that of the janet. album" - just "of janet." is fine
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:49, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * The paragraph that discusses the success of The Velvet Rope needs a lot of reorganising...you keep throwing out random records and stats and it could be placed in a more logical order. (More citing needed for these stats, too)
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk)


 * You might want to avoid using main and just wlink the stuff in the sections, because it looks really weird at the top of the 2000–2005: All for You and Damita Jo section with all those links there
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:53, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "opposite Eddie Murphy as professor Denise Gaines" - it sounds like Murphy played Gaines (but she did, IIRC), so reword this
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:53, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "It debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 selling 605,128 copies making All For You the biggest first-week sales total of Janet's career and would go on to sell more than three million copies in America." - goes from past to present(ish) tense (needs reword), and needs sourcing.
 * note: altered but not sourced. Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 09:58, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "Jackson's top while singing the lyric 'gonna have you naked by the end of this song.'" - might wanna say what song they were singing
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 10:02, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "and the most-searched event" - on all search engines? Says who?
 * "CBS would only let Jackson and Timberlake appear on the 2004 46th Annual Grammy..." - this paragraph is unsourced
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 04:34, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "as a host of Saturday Night Live on April 10, 2004" - date needs wlinking per WP:DATE
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 10:25, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * What's ref 47 referring to...?
 * "at no.13 in February, 1999." - "no" --> "#", and wlink the date (February 1999)


 * Again, the 20YO stats could do with more citing
 * "and the film was released on 12 October 2007. The movie" - film or movie...take your pick, but just use one. You can also throw its name in sometimes to avoid redundancies
 * ✅ --Realist2 (talk) 09:50, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * "In Feb. 2008, " - spell the name out
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 09:57, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Ref 55 is out of date, and 56-58 need formatting
 * Legacy and Personal Life sections should be ==level 2==
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 09:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Ref 9; Sydney Morning Herald needs italics
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 09:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Same thing in 71 (and check others)
 * "entertainers including Madonna, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston" - wlinks
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 09:37, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Try and trim some of the usage of "also"
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 15:14, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Personal life section needs less quoting and more of your own words
 * ✅ Bookkeeperoftheoccult (talk) 05:52, 4 April 2008 (UTC)


 * It could also do with more wlinking
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 14:52, 3 April 2008 (UTC)


 * The see also links in the Discography section aren't needed
 * ✅ Realist2 (talk) 09:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Leave a note on my talk page when done. Cheers, dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 07:42, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Passed, nice work the two of you! dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 09:47, 4 April 2008 (UTC)