Talk:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic/Archive 8

GOCE copyedit request

 * [...] which featured designs as late as the franchise's third incarnation. Already edited. Should generation be used here to be consistent with what it's commonly called by collectors? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Likely. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Changed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:37, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Just as Michael Bay's film had helped boost the new Transformers toy line, Hasbro wanted to retool the My Little Pony franchise and update it to better suit the current demographic and taste of young girls. Sentence seems a little unwieldy by the end. "Retool" and "update" seem to serve the same purpose, so I'd suggest removing either one. "Current demographic" and "taste" seem to clash; can "taste" be removed? It doesn't seem any information is lost if it's taken out. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I agree with you. I have no opinion on whether "update" or "retool" should be remove and have no objection to the removal of "taste". Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. I removed "update" and "taste". — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:38, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Faust stated that as she provided Hasbro with more of her ideas for the show [...] Emphasis added. I don't think the emphasised part needs to be in the article, unless Faust had been using ideas from someone else and the distinction needs to be made. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * The article doesn't really mention her using ideas from others until later so I think it can be removed. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed "of her". — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:38, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Faust and Rob Renzetti came up with broad plots for each show [...] Wikilink removed. I think it's supposed to be episode and not show? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes, I think so as the source states "[Renzetti] and [Faust] came up with and wrote all of the story premises." Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Switched to "episode". — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:39, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink removed. Everything before the semicolon seems unwieldy. The parenthetical thought which she would have normally done on other shows doesn't seem to provide the necessary contrast to stay within the sentence. I think it can be removed, unless the thought is supposed to be which she would have done normally on other shows, because she had to tread carefully. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I think "done normally" is what she means: "character behavior that was considered OK in shows I’d worked on previously was suddenly considered “inappropriate for children”" Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. I've rephrased the sentence. I think situations could be swapped with conflicts, but I'll leave that up to you. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:43, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * They focused on movement and kinetic energy as well as timing and gravity. I don't understand why this sentence is here. Wouldn't action scenes generally focus more on these aspects in any show? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I suppose so. I have no objection to removing this. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:44, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * After beginning the storyboard and design process, the DHX Media team went through it. Emphasis added. What is "it"? The "storyboard and design process"? If so, it could be merged with another sentence; taken alone it sounds redundant. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I suppose "it" is meant to mean the storyboard and design process, though, checking with the source, it's not really clarified ("When we get it to the storyboard and design process, we go through it [...]"). Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. I removed another sentence (the one about attending meetings), and merged some of the sentences together. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:48, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * They determined what they had to do, recorded dialogue, and created a storyboard animatic using the voice record. I don't think the determined what they had to do needs to be stated. Does "voice record" refer to the recordings that the voiceover artists provided or something else? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I agree that "determined what they had to do" does not need to be stated and have no objection to removing it. "Voice record" likely means the recordings of the voice actors. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:48, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * The storyboard artists and animators also added background characters for otherwise scripted scenes [...] Emphasis added. I don't understand why "otherwise" is added. Is it supposed to just be scenes in general? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * The source states "Very rarely are those things written into the script, but then when it goes to Studio B and the board artists and Jayson Thiessen, supervising director, I think they have a lot of fun. They have to populate this world with these background ponies and they're like "oh, they're at a bowling alley, eh?"" I think what "otherwise" is meant to mean is that the background ponies were not scripted. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Ah, I see what you're getting at. I've rewritten the sentence to talk about adding unplanned characters into the show in general. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:57, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Before the show was approved, Hasbro and Faust planned for each episode to be 11 minutes long, to which Faust conformed in her first full-length script, "The Ticket Master", which was part of the pitch bible. Seems a bit big with two "which"s. Is it necessary to mention that "The Ticket Master" was in the pitch bible? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Probably not. No objection to removal. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed the bit about the pitch bible. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:58, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * At the end of the initial episodes [...] Which episodes are considered "the initial episodes"? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, the end of what the sentence is referring to is season 3. However, since no source discusses this, I think this can be removed. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 18:08, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * [...] animated by bending and stretching them in curves in three dimensions and giving them a sense of movement without the cost of individual hairs. I think the reader not versed in animation is going to be confused by the cost of individual hairs. I assume what this means is that a sense of movement can be achieved without animating individual hairs? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, according to the source, "their manes and tails are intentionally rendered as curving surfaces completely lacking in depth. [...] [Fancy hair] raises production problems: the more inner line work you have on hair and when you start animating individual hairs, unless you’re on a feature animation budget it’s just not going to turn out right." Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * . I've changed it to without the need to animate individual hairs. I think that helps get the point across? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:52, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I think so! Thank you. Pamzeis (talk) 03:02, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 05:52, 6 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Layers were then added, more voices being included as well as the orchestra and instrumentation. This sentence sounds strange. Is this trying to say that additional voices, orchestra, and instrumentation were layered on top of the melody and principal singers? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, since the cast recording seems to be the final process, I assume it was just layered on top of the "basic melody" and piano. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * :. Ah, I think I get it now: the rehearsal piano was there in the beginning, other elements like other instrumentals were added, and then the main cast was added on at the end. How does this look? The creative team was sent the song and gave input. Non-principal voices and instrumentation were then layered before the lead singer's vocals. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 18:06, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * It looks a lot clearer to me! Thank you! Pamzeis (talk) 03:02, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 05:52, 6 August 2021 (UTC)

@Pamzeis: Looking forward to your responses! — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks for your copyedits and comments, ! I have responded to your questions and if any of my answers were unsatisfactory/unclear, please feel free to let me know! Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the responses! Pretty much all my points have been answered; I would appreciate a check of the two "Tentatively dones" to see if that's what you were looking for. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 18:13, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for you copyediting, ! I think they have improved the article a lot. I've responded to the "Tentatively dones". Again, thank you so much! Pamzeis (talk) 03:02, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Alright, I've marked those as done, and I'll give the article another once-over tomorrow to see if there's any last-minute changes to be made. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 05:52, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * @Pamzeis: I think that's everything on my end! Good luck with the nomination! — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 15:53, 6 August 2021 (UTC)

GOCE copyedit request

 * [...] which featured designs as late as the franchise's third incarnation. Already edited. Should generation be used here to be consistent with what it's commonly called by collectors? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Likely. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Changed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:37, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Just as Michael Bay's film had helped boost the new Transformers toy line, Hasbro wanted to retool the My Little Pony franchise and update it to better suit the current demographic and taste of young girls. Sentence seems a little unwieldy by the end. "Retool" and "update" seem to serve the same purpose, so I'd suggest removing either one. "Current demographic" and "taste" seem to clash; can "taste" be removed? It doesn't seem any information is lost if it's taken out. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I agree with you. I have no opinion on whether "update" or "retool" should be remove and have no objection to the removal of "taste". Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. I removed "update" and "taste". — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:38, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Faust stated that as she provided Hasbro with more of her ideas for the show [...] Emphasis added. I don't think the emphasised part needs to be in the article, unless Faust had been using ideas from someone else and the distinction needs to be made. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * The article doesn't really mention her using ideas from others until later so I think it can be removed. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed "of her". — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:38, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Faust and Rob Renzetti came up with broad plots for each show [...] Wikilink removed. I think it's supposed to be episode and not show? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes, I think so as the source states "[Renzetti] and [Faust] came up with and wrote all of the story premises." Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Switched to "episode". — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:39, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink removed. Everything before the semicolon seems unwieldy. The parenthetical thought which she would have normally done on other shows doesn't seem to provide the necessary contrast to stay within the sentence. I think it can be removed, unless the thought is supposed to be which she would have done normally on other shows, because she had to tread carefully. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I think "done normally" is what she means: "character behavior that was considered OK in shows I’d worked on previously was suddenly considered “inappropriate for children”" Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. I've rephrased the sentence. I think situations could be swapped with conflicts, but I'll leave that up to you. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:43, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * They focused on movement and kinetic energy as well as timing and gravity. I don't understand why this sentence is here. Wouldn't action scenes generally focus more on these aspects in any show? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I suppose so. I have no objection to removing this. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:44, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * After beginning the storyboard and design process, the DHX Media team went through it. Emphasis added. What is "it"? The "storyboard and design process"? If so, it could be merged with another sentence; taken alone it sounds redundant. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I suppose "it" is meant to mean the storyboard and design process, though, checking with the source, it's not really clarified ("When we get it to the storyboard and design process, we go through it [...]"). Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. I removed another sentence (the one about attending meetings), and merged some of the sentences together. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:48, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * They determined what they had to do, recorded dialogue, and created a storyboard animatic using the voice record. I don't think the determined what they had to do needs to be stated. Does "voice record" refer to the recordings that the voiceover artists provided or something else? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I agree that "determined what they had to do" does not need to be stated and have no objection to removing it. "Voice record" likely means the recordings of the voice actors. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:48, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * The storyboard artists and animators also added background characters for otherwise scripted scenes [...] Emphasis added. I don't understand why "otherwise" is added. Is it supposed to just be scenes in general? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * The source states "Very rarely are those things written into the script, but then when it goes to Studio B and the board artists and Jayson Thiessen, supervising director, I think they have a lot of fun. They have to populate this world with these background ponies and they're like "oh, they're at a bowling alley, eh?"" I think what "otherwise" is meant to mean is that the background ponies were not scripted. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Ah, I see what you're getting at. I've rewritten the sentence to talk about adding unplanned characters into the show in general. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:57, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Before the show was approved, Hasbro and Faust planned for each episode to be 11 minutes long, to which Faust conformed in her first full-length script, "The Ticket Master", which was part of the pitch bible. Seems a bit big with two "which"s. Is it necessary to mention that "The Ticket Master" was in the pitch bible? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Probably not. No objection to removal. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed the bit about the pitch bible. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:58, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * At the end of the initial episodes [...] Which episodes are considered "the initial episodes"? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, the end of what the sentence is referring to is season 3. However, since no source discusses this, I think this can be removed. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Removed. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 18:08, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * [...] animated by bending and stretching them in curves in three dimensions and giving them a sense of movement without the cost of individual hairs. I think the reader not versed in animation is going to be confused by the cost of individual hairs. I assume what this means is that a sense of movement can be achieved without animating individual hairs? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, according to the source, "their manes and tails are intentionally rendered as curving surfaces completely lacking in depth. [...] [Fancy hair] raises production problems: the more inner line work you have on hair and when you start animating individual hairs, unless you’re on a feature animation budget it’s just not going to turn out right." Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * . I've changed it to without the need to animate individual hairs. I think that helps get the point across? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:52, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I think so! Thank you. Pamzeis (talk) 03:02, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 05:52, 6 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Layers were then added, more voices being included as well as the orchestra and instrumentation. This sentence sounds strange. Is this trying to say that additional voices, orchestra, and instrumentation were layered on top of the melody and principal singers? — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, since the cast recording seems to be the final process, I assume it was just layered on top of the "basic melody" and piano. Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * :. Ah, I think I get it now: the rehearsal piano was there in the beginning, other elements like other instrumentals were added, and then the main cast was added on at the end. How does this look? The creative team was sent the song and gave input. Non-principal voices and instrumentation were then layered before the lead singer's vocals. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 18:06, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * It looks a lot clearer to me! Thank you! Pamzeis (talk) 03:02, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 05:52, 6 August 2021 (UTC)

@Pamzeis: Looking forward to your responses! — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 06:01, 5 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks for your copyedits and comments, ! I have responded to your questions and if any of my answers were unsatisfactory/unclear, please feel free to let me know! Pamzeis (talk) 08:04, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the responses! Pretty much all my points have been answered; I would appreciate a check of the two "Tentatively dones" to see if that's what you were looking for. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 18:13, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for you copyediting, ! I think they have improved the article a lot. I've responded to the "Tentatively dones". Again, thank you so much! Pamzeis (talk) 03:02, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Alright, I've marked those as done, and I'll give the article another once-over tomorrow to see if there's any last-minute changes to be made. — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 05:52, 6 August 2021 (UTC)
 * @Pamzeis: I think that's everything on my end! Good luck with the nomination! — Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 15:53, 6 August 2021 (UTC)

Should we remove Equestria Daily?
OK, so I know there has been previous consensus that Equestria Daily is reliable. However, I'm hoping to nominate this article for FA in October and per the FA criteria, sources need to be "high quality". I do not think reviewers will consider EqD "high quality". If there's opposition to this idea, I will obviously not go through with it, but if there's none in the next few days, I'm going to start removing it. See here for the general idea of what would be removed (though it doesn't have the subsections, etc. and a few other sources have also been removed). Any thoughts? Pamzeis (talk) 00:41, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Equestria Daily should only be removed as a source if better sources can be found. Otherwise infos of that article would not be sourced at all and would either have to be removed completly, leaving the article inclomplete or remain as unsourced. Neiter having unsourced info nor having an incomplete article can be in the spirite of a featured article. Therefore I would prefeare to keep EQD as a source, but only as long as not better source can be found. Gial Ackbar (talk) 08:33, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
 * EqD is not a reliable source for 90% of its reports. It's more of a news aggregator, and there should be actual sources we can pull the information from. On very rare occasions EqD was given first-access to information from Hasbro, but that's the exception rather than the rule. &mdash;  The Hand That Feeds You :Bite 18:10, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
 * It does look like this article is only citing from the 10% exceptions: three interviews with show staff. While interviews need to be treated with caution in general, I don't think being on EqD makes them lower quality, and a priori I don't see a reason to remove them. (Particularly the interview with Lauren Faust) Arzg (talk) 12:06, 23 September 2021 (UTC)