Talk:Robert M. La Follette/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 17:29, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article as part of the July 2021 good article nominations backlog drive! Any section that I've marked with a tag means that I haven't finished leaving comments there, but you're free to begin making changes as soon as you see them!  Kncny11  (shoot) 17:29, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

 * Per WP:LEADCITE, ledes don't normally have citations, but direct quotes should be linked, particularly the one about being "the most celebrated leader in Wisconsin history".

Early life

 * Comma after "in 1862"
 * Specify that he graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree
 * Also specify that the student paper was called the University Press

Early political career

 * WL district attorney
 * Pipe "embezzled" to embezzlement
 * Change the pipe on Scandinavian to Nordic and Scandinavian Americans
 * "bribed some" "bribed certain"
 * Mention the name of the man he defeated in 1900

Governor of Wisconsin

 * "when he announced that he would resign as governor" "when he announced his resignation"
 * WL James O. Davidson and Irvine Lenroot

Roosevelt administration

 * Replace parentheses with commas in second sentence
 * "sixteen consecutive" "16 consecutive" per MOS:NUMBERS

Taft administration

 * "senators except" "senators except for"
 * Switch the "In consultation with..." and "in January 1911" clauses
 * ""and Wendell Phillips."" ""and Wendell Phillips"." per MOS:LQ
 * Mention when exactly the autobiography came out, so we can understand how that might have affected the presidential election
 * "would undergo surgery" "required surgery"

Wilson administration

 * The bit about foreign policy seems tacked on in its current state; if possible, try to expand and split into a different paragraph
 * Replace hyphen with en dash for the 373–50 vote
 * Comma after "After the U.S. declared war"
 * "during 1917 and 1918" "throughout this period"
 * ""struggling to establish an industrial democracy."" ""struggling to establish an industrial democracy"." per MOS:LQ

Harding administration

 * "La Follette retained influence in Wisconsin after the war" (or some such time qualifier)
 * Need a reference for the death date of Harding and subsequent succession by Coolidge
 * The last paragraph is a hell of a run-on sentence

1924 Presidential campaign

 * No dash in African Americans
 * Comma after "stating that,"
 * WL Louis Brandeis and associate justice, and specify that it was SCOTUS, not, say, the WI Supreme Court

Death

 * Perhaps worth mentioning that the heart disease was complicated by bronchitis and pneumonia
 * WL to Forest Hill Cemetery (Madison, Wisconsin)
 * Also mention that he was still in office at the time of his death

Legacy

 * Either WL Philip and Robert in the first sentence, or don't mention their names until later
 * ""the most celebrated figure in Wisconsin history."" ""the most celebrated figure in Wisconsin history"." per MOS:LQ

Memorials

 * Everything after the painting in the Senate is currently unreferenced

General comments

 * Broadness, focus, neutrality, and stability all shake out
 * Pictures are available for use and are relevant to the article
 * Mention somewhere in the body how he came by the nickname "Fighting Bob"
 * Include the years in which he was governor and senator in the headers for those respective sections
 * Earwig score looks good at 32.9%, with the higher ones coming from direct, attributed quotes. I also spot checked some of the offline sources.

Great work so far! Mostly just small MOS things and a few silly mistakes that happen with an article of this length. Putting on hold now, and let me know if you have any questions!  Kncny11  (shoot) 19:44, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
 * No changes made to article in over a week. Only activity from user since April has been two RfA votes. Closing this one as a fail, unfortunately. —  Ghost River  01:21, 11 July 2021 (UTC)