Talk:Sharon Newman/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: TRLIJC19 (talk · contribs) 21:23, 28 October 2012 (UTC) and — M.Mario  (T/C) 20:42, 8 November 2012 (UTC)

Sorry for the delays – I'll try to get to this by tonight—tomorrow the latest. TRLIJC19 ( talk  •  contribs ) 23:21, 2 November 2012 (UTC)
 * That's fine. Hope you find the time to do it soon :) Ar  re   05:52, 7 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Introduced by the late William J. Bell" -> In the infobox it says Bell just created him. Either add introducer to infobox, or change creator to introducer in the ibox, or finally, add Introduced and created to lead.
 * "Following a rocky relationship" -> Not a good term to use. Did a critic use this term "rocky"? If so, quote, if not, change.
 * "Noah" -> actor names (most prominent).
 * "Following a rocky relationship, they married and had a son, Noah. They also gained custody of Cassie (Camryn Grimes), whom she had given up for adoption years ago" -> Merge sentences, as well as doing fixes I have stated above.
 * "whom she had given up for adoption years ago" -> She -> Sharon
 * "The marriage faced countless hurdles" -> "Her marriage with Nick faced countless problems..."
 * "...including infidelities on both their parts. At one point, Sharon left town for months because of immense pressure". -> Merge sentences to -> "including infidelities on both their parts, which temporarily made Sharon leave town".
 * "It was during this point that Case was experiencing intense contract negotiations and her future on the soap was in question." -> "Her temporary departure was due Case experiencing contract negotiations, about her future on the soap".
 * "Following Cassie's death, Nick cheated on Sharon with Phyllis Summers (Michelle Stafford), resulting in a pregnancy. -> Following Cassie's death from a car crash, Nick cheated again; with Phyllis Summers (Michelle Stafford), resulting in a pregnancy".
 * "it was deemed the best love triangle by Soap Opera Digest" -> personification of publisher.
 * "A love triangle developed between Nick, Sharon and Phyllis, ultimatly leading to the couple's divorce. The love triangle was praised by critics; deemed the "best" love triangle by Soap Opera Digest. (As well as other fixes mentioned above) — M.Mario  (T/C) 20:42, 8 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done; fixed the lead. Ar  re   05:47, 9 November 2012 (UTC)
 * A few more for the lead:


 * No mention of CBS in Lead, American is not needed, change to CBS.
 * "The character was described as a "young girl from the poor side of town" at first, originating from Madison, Wisconsin" -> Move after the actresses who have played Sharon.
 * Yes check.svg Done, but I left American just to clarify. Ar  re   19:02, 9 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "succumbed to passion" -> something more formal.
 * Lead- Actress name for Faith.
 * "Faith was believed dead for months (by whom) after her birth; however Adam Newman (Michael Muhney) had stolen her and presented her to Ashley Abbott (Eileen Davidson), whom he had caused to lose a child, therefore giving her the thing that she had lost. Sharon then began a relationship with Adam (Wait, what, he stole her baby! And what has happened to her relationship with Nick, and did she divorce Jack?), which turned into marriage". -> Need to be more clear about details.
 * "Their relationship was described as "dark" and has changed the dynamic of the character". By whom? -> "Their relationship was described as "dark" by critics, who noticed that it had changed the characteristics of Sharon?
 * Relink Sherri Coleman to -> #Fugitivity and alter ego|Sherri Coleman.
 * "controversial relationship" -> who said this, and how?
 * "has been generally poorly received by the actors and public" -> a move which was disliked by Case.
 * "The character has tackled several emotionally challenging storylines including rape, kidnapping, infidelity and kleptomania (an obsessive stealing disorder)". -> change.
 * "Most notably, she won a Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in 1999, among five other Daytime Emmy nominations. She has won two Soap Opera Digest Awards." -> Merge
 * When quoting in the lead " blah blah blah", use the reference the quote came from. — M.Mario  (T/C) 19:53, 11 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done. However, the source (SoapNet) that states the relationship was described as dark doesn't say who wrote this. Ar  re   06:17, 12 November 2012 (UTC)


 * I hope the review has been okay. The article seems very good, but does seem to need a good copy edit. Have you submitted this article for WP:PEER REVIEW? I dont mind doing it, but you must know that there may be a few points per day. — M.Mario  (T/C) 19:03, 12 November 2012 (UTC)
 * The review has been good, I'm happy someone has finally started it. You're points have been extremely helpful... You're right it does. I don't mind how long it takes. Ar  re   02:59, 13 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Unlink all occupations, apart from the Cassie one.
 * Right on to Casting:
 * Unlink William J. Bell, change to just Bell (already mentioned in Lead, WP:OVER LINKING
 * "Sharon was introduced and created by William J. Bell." -> Source? -> Credits for character's first appearance would be good.
 * Ditto with Potter and Mark.


 * Yes check.svg Done, I only fixed the occupations and William J. Bell to Bell. I will leave the rest for Arre.  Creativity  97  03:48, 16 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, (I've researched a lot) but I can't find a source for any of the actress' first appearance. Also, the March 28, 1994 date has been there for a while and I can't find a source for that either. But i didn't add that. Do you have other points for casting? Ar  re   03:56, 16 November 2012 (UTC)
 * All ." change to ".
 * The quotes in Characterization either need to be cut or removed.
 * Try to find one word adjectives to describe Sharon, "moody", "mean", "happy", "ditzy", ... etc.
 * Should the storylines be first? It would make a bit more sense
 * "Sharon as her alter ego Sheri Coleman. Her appearance changed, and Case colored her hair brown" -> Changed "colored" to dyed?
 * Yes check.svg Done caption for photo. I cut/shortened basically all the quotes and added other words in between them like, Case said "blah blah" but never "blah blah". But I didn't cut important quotes like Case saying Sharon's relationship with Victor was incest, and her explaining that even though she nearly killed someone she was still a romantic lead and heroin. About the storyline thing, I know it's done that way on Poppy but Sharon's s/l is sort of long and it makes more sense for ppl to read about her casting/development and then see the overview. Because they've basically just read parts of the storyline in the lead. But that's what I feel. I formatted the page like that once but it didn't flow right. Ar  re   11:33, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Im guessing you have checked that all the sources are reliable? — M.Mario  (T/C) 11:48, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Im now going through checking all sources, etc.


 * Expand caption for image of Adam.
 * Unlink common words
 * Yes check.svg Done. All of the sources are reliable. Some are dead, however. Ar  re

12:48, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Dead references -> can alternatives be found?

— M.Mario  (T/C) 13:23, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Actor names in Storylines section.
 * Please cut down this section
 * Nicholas Newman section:
 * "since her beginning" -> of what?
 * "eloping" -> link
 * Actor name for Matt Clark
 * This section needs a read through. Cut out uneccessary details,
 * Josh Morrow -> Morrow
 * Actor names for Cassie & Noah
 * Actor name for Diego
 * Phyllis Summers (Michelle Stafford) -> Link
 * Michelle Stafford -> Stafford
 * I havent checked the references at this moment.
 * "the Huffington Post" -> Should be italics and the -> The
 * Linked actors to that section. About that, in the storyline section, some if not most of the actors have already been linked throughout the article. It's 12 AM in Australia:) so I'll be going offline now. When I come back I'll fix the remaining and finish any more points you have, thankyou! Ar  re   13:33, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I fixed the dead links by adding links to archived pages. :) Kelly Marie 0812 (talk) 14:15, 1 December 2012 (UTC)