Wikipedia:Peer review/Britney Spears/archive4

Britney Spears
This peer review discussion has been closed. I have listed this article for peer review because I would like to bring this article up to FA status. This article was recently a Feature Article Candidate, and it was failed due to two major reasons.
 * Previous peer review
 * 1) It needs a thorough copyedit.
 * 2) Several phrases are cited with unreliable source(s).

The committed editors of the article will take care the sourcing problems. I would like to ask peer reviewers to give it a copyedit. And please point out any other problems with this article you come across. I am most grateful for your help. Cheers! Oidia (talk • contribs) 23:26, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Just so you know, peer review is more a place to point out problems than to fix them (the editors asking for a peer review are generally the ones who do the fixing or at least find helpers). Some suggestions and a reply to your statement above: Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 18:56, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I will make some comments for suggested improvements, but do not have the time to do a copyedit. Have you asked at WP:LOCE? Since you already know this needs a copyedit, I will not point out errors that a good copyedit will fix.
 * I would go through the FAC and look very carefully at every comment and make sure it has been fixed. I would also treat the comments as examples and make sure the whole article was free of the problems pointed out (and not just fix any particular specific examples).
 * Be as specific with details as possible - surely a more exact date for her first single is known than Spears's debut single "…Baby One More Time", released in the end of 1998...?
 * Try reading the article out loud - do sentences like The tour's choreography generated much controversy and criticism, with the presence of young children in the audience.[60] really make sense (I think I can figure out what the intent is, but this is nowhere near the brilliant prose required for FA).
 * How is a red link to "Unreleased Material by Britney Spears (includes unreleased collaborations)" useful information for the Guest appearances section?
 * COnsidering fair use guidelines, are eight separate songs really needed for one article?
 * Make sure everything is cited properly - the first sentence calls her the "Princess of Pop (no close quote) but does not cite this, for example.
 * Some references from the internet (as examples, see current refs 23, 30, 31, 158 & 159) do not include all required information (title, publisher, author if know, and date accessed) See WP:CITE
 * There are a very large number of references so wherever possible please use the format for citing the same ref multiple times - see current refs 3, 4, 6-9 for example of this, or for duplicate refs see current 104 and 105.
 * Make sure refs meet WP:RS - is yahoo.com really a reliable source (current ref 17, cited 5 times)? See also the FAC concerns. I would agree that print biographies are probably very useful here, but do not seem to be cited much.