Wikipedia:Peer review/Michael Jackson/archive3

Michael Jackson
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because…
 * Previous peer review

A few months ago the MJ (Michael Jackson) article failed a FA nomination. I made the improvements suggested and contacted one of the reviewers who originally failed it asking "was it worth reapplying for FA". He/she suggested a peer review first. My goal then obviously is to get it up to FA statues and have it reviewed. I have been the main contributer to the article for the last 8 months but dont mind reviewers destroying my work so long as it reaches FA. Thinks i think need looking at are;- NOTE - What ever you do please do not go over board with the Thriller Era Jackson, MJ has had a long successful career and Thriller is just one part of that. When I first started at wiki the article had a terrible Thriller era American centric viewpoint of Jackson's career. Most people are unaware that his Dangerous album from 1991 did much better than Thriller in many countries. Jackson is an international start, more so than elvis or the beatles, he conquered south america and asia. Please avoid what I call "80's nolstalga".
 * Copy editing - English is NOT my first language so mistakes will be there i swear
 * Sources - Sources are good, they just need formatting
 * The lead - The lead used to be really good but it was destroyed a few months ago by another editor it might need improving.

Thanks, Realist2 (talk) 23:15, 2 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Comments from
 * "His distinctive style, dance moves, and vocals have influenced a whole generation of hip hop, pop, and R&B artists." is a fairly bold statement and should be referenced
 * Why the need for six references for Thriller 25 selling 1.4 mil copies?
 * (DONE)
 * "Musical prodigy" is too WP:POV for my liking
 * (DONE)
 * The sections 1.2 Off the Wall, 1.3 Thriller, 1.4 Bad, 1.5 Dangerous, and 1.6 HIStory for me would be better in the respective album articles, instead breaking the sections down to perhaps spans of five years or so, similar to the FAs Kate Bush, Mariah Carey, Kylie Minogue and Gwen Stefani.
 * The second paragraph of "Trial, career hiatus, reissues and return to public eye" needs a full stop at the end.
 * (DONE)
 * Don't include "Trial" in that section's title, because the trial isn't part of his career
 * (DONE)
 * In "Influence", ref 9 appears in the middle of a sentence, and again at the end of it. Remove the first one.
 * (DONE)
 * Refs 9 and 168 should appear after the full stop
 * Ref 56 appears after a space
 * The bit about Fred Astaire calling him should be referenced
 * Ref 180 should appear after the full stop
 * Fedora is wikilinked many times.
 * (DONE)
 * The paragraph about Blanket needs a full stop at the end
 * References should go in order, so [15] should be before [192]
 * The wikilink of $ to United States dollar appears well after the first use of "$"
 * All references should attribute the publisher and accessdate. Use WP:Citation templates to make it easy
 * Your comments at the top suggest you expect reviewers to make the changes; it doesn't work that way. It usually falls on the one who requested the review and other people who work on the article such as those involved in a WikiProject or just regular contributors to the article. That's all from me for now. Let me know when/if you want more. -- ṃ• α• Ł• ṭ• ʰ• Ə• Щ•   @  21:33, 3 April 2008 (UTC)