Wikipedia:Please do not murder the newcomers

Please do not murder the newcomers, no matter how good of a resolution it may seem. Otherwise, there might be a news article titled "man murdered by international conspiracy of Wikipedia editors" published in national news soon afterwards. Members of the cabal do not want such bad press (press on The Cabal is seriously discouraged). What's worse for you is that ArbCom will impose topic bans from murder, broadly construed, on you. So do not murder the newcomers.

WP:NPA applies in this common situation, since it is a personal matter.

Alternatives

 * Playing Minecraft or Among Us
 * Voodoo dolls (TODO: remove if Voodoo dolls affect the real world)
 * Intense dispute resolution via WP:HAPPYPLACE

Resisting the urge to murder
You can take additional steps to prevent these common urges to squeeze the life out of newcomers who annoy us. The first step is to carefully but casually analyze the other user's contributions for issues, out of the kindness of your cold, cold heart. Therapy is a thing, but might not take the cabal's insurance plan. YMMV.