Talk:Joey Hamilton

Post-FAC review
 Giants2008  ( 17–14 ) 19:53, 15 August 2009 (UTC)  Giants2008  ( 17–14 ) 16:48, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * The first paragraph of the lead bothers me since it is only one paragraph, which gives it a stubby appearance. To fix this, I recommend moving a couple sentences from the second paragraph.
 * Moved first two sentences of second paragraph up.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Comma after Georgia Southern University.
 * Added.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "in nine years of professional baseball" is a close copy of the first sentence.
 * Removed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Grammar: "As a rookie with the San Diego in 1994". In that sentence, it would be nice to link rookie, since that could be perceived as jargon.
 * Linked.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Following the 1998 season, San Diego traded him to the Toronto Blue Jays in December 1998, for whom he spent two full seasons." Two problems here. First, the 1998 after December should be dropped, since it's clear that the trade occured in 1998. Second, "for whom" should follow a person, not a date. The entire sentence could use a re-write.
 * Ended sentence after "December" and merged the removed info with the next sentence with rewording.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "but was only as a write-in candidate." Cut "was", and consider a comma before "but".
 * Removed "was" and added comma.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Early years and college: "The Baltimore Orioles drafted him in the 1988 Major League Baseball Draft but he did not sign". A contract with the Orioles, I assume?
 * Clarified.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Would All-America be a helpful link in this section?
 * Linked.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "The San Diego Padres drafted Hamilton eighth overall in the 1991 Major League Baseball Draft and eventually signed him for US$415,000 after a short period of refusing to sign a contract." It reads like the Padres were the ones refusing to sign. Is that the intention? Also, I don't think we need a link to the U.S. dollar, or a US indicator, unless there's a Canadian dollar amount given later.
 * Clairifed and removed US dollar link, not sure how that got in there.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Professional career: Baseball America was linked already in the previous section.
 * Removed link.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "The Padres sent Hamilton to their Single-A affiliate the Charleston Rainbows". Comma after "affiliate".
 * Added.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "In High Desert, compiling a 4–3 win–loss record, 2.74 ERA in nine appearances, eight of which were starts." This is a sentence fragment in its present form. Try "In High Desert, Hamilton compiled a 4–3 win–loss record and 2.74 ERA in nine appearances". Note how I swapped a comma for an "and" in the middle.
 * Reworded.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Hamilton received one more call-up this time to Double-A." Comma after "call-up".
 * Added.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 13:56, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "He was sent to the Padres affiliate the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes." Apostrophe in Padres', and comma after "affiliate".
 * Done.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Typo: The Padres then called him up to their Double-A affiliated". Also change the semi-colon after this to a comma.
 * Done.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "With San Diego, Hamilton went 55 and 44 with a 3.75 ERA in 932.8 innings pitched." I'm surprised that his record isn't given in a range like the others in the article. Also, I'm becoming confused by the innings pitched statistics given. In various places, I see .1, .2 and .8. Something is amiss somewhere, since IP stats can only end in three ways: ⅓, ⅔ or a whole number.
 * Fixed the .8 thing not sure why I put that there and the .1's and .2's are the ⅓, ⅔, will change to the fractions upon request.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:40, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * How did Hamilton perform in his MLB debut? That's a significant landmark in a baseball player's career, especially a relatively unknown one.
 * Added a couple of sentences.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 02:10, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * What were his statistics in 1994? Would be nice to have since the article gives his stats for every other season.
 * Not sure why those weren't there before, added.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 02:13, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Batters got 189 hits off Hamilton". The prose reviewers at FAC are generally not fond of "got". I'd suggest "had" as a replacement.
 * Changed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Another sentence fragment: "Also, having a 4.17 ERA in 33 starts giving up 206 hits and 98 earned runs."
 * Fixed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * From the linked article on the Padres' Opening Day starters, I see that Hamilton won in 1997. A brief sentence or two on this would be beneficial. Oh, and should Opening Day be capitalized?
 * Added some sentences on his 1997 and 2002 start/win.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 02:10, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "As a shoulder injury, later described as inflammation of the rotator cuff and bursa sac, forced Hamilton onto the disabled list during the 97' season." This sentence, while important, has no flow with anything that comes before. Rework the first part of it, and swap 1997 for 97' (I'm pretty sure the Manual of Style discourages abbreviated years).
 * Reworded.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:34, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "There was a rumored trade around the 1998 MLB trade deadline that would send Hamilton to the Detroit Tigers...". I'm thinking it should be "that would have".
 * Fixed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "and instead came in relief of game three starter Sterling Hitchcock." Doesn't work grammatically. Try "and instead entered game three in relief of starter Sterling Hitchcock."
 * Fixed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * After San Diego: Change semi-colon after "the Triple-A affiliate of the Blue Jays, and made three starts" to a regular comma. I know you must be annoyed at all these picky punctuation comments, but it's better that you receive them from me here than at another FAC.
 * Changed and no definetely not getting annoyed with these kind of changes especially since I'm awful with punctuation. :S-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 15:58, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Hamilton had a shortened 2000 season for Toronto when he had...". "when" → "where".
 * Changed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 15:58, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Comma after "and was optioned to their Triple-A team", and possibly another after "He made one start in Louisville". There are similar fixes to be made in the Final years section.
 * Added commas.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 15:58, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "and came in relief in 22 games." I remember seeing this before and not being thrilled with it. Perhaps use "and pitched in relief in 22 games."
 * Fixed wording.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 15:58, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "with a 8–3 record, 3.23 ERA in 86.1 innings." Replace comma with "and".
 * Replaced.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 15:58, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * As I said at the FAC, it would be a good idea to seek out a copy-editor or two to polish the article further. One person can't see every possible improvement in an article, and featured articles are almost always copy-edited at some point. That does it for the prose review, but I want to come back and look at the sources, to judge their reliability and how they support what's in the article.  Giants2008  ( 17–14 ) 14:30, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for doing this. When the FAC failed I put in a request for a copy-edit hopefully that will happen in the coming months.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 14:54, 23 August 2009 (UTC)


 * I mentioned The Baseball Cube at the FAC and am still concerned about it. A website that can be edited by anyone is not going to be considered a reliable source in general, never mind at FAC. My suggestion is to find replacement cites for facts referenced to Baseball Cube.
 * Like I said on the FAC, if you click on "Edit Player Data" it brings up a form which is then e-mailed to the people who run the site for their review before it is posted.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:56, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Reference 24 says it's from Baseball Cube, but appears to be an archived news story.
 * Whoops, fixed.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:56, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Reference 42 is to FanHouse, a blog. A blog's reliability, or lack thereof, depends strongly on who is writing it. Is the writer of this piece, Matt Watson, a sports journalist?
 * I wasn't 100% sure but looking at looking at this article it appears as if he won an award in 2004, which would mean he's a sports journalist.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:56, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Reference 18: "the ability to throw a baseball at close to 100 mph." Article: "losing his ability to throw a baseball at 100 miles per hour." There are distinct similarities between the two. Please re-word this to move it farther from the source.
 * Re-worded.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:59, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Reference 33: "Joey Hamilton looked like the '97 Hamilton". Article: Hamilton looked like the "'97 Hamilton". Considering the rest of this bit matches the quote, the quotation mark should be moved before Hamilton.
 * Moved quotation.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:59, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Reference 15 has a red link for the publisher. An article exists under The Daily Courier, if you want to link it.
 * Linked.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:59, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * There are numerous LA Times articles that were retrieved from a news archive. When you get a chance, I urge you to check these stories against the article for more bits that are close to each other, like the two above.
 * Will do.-- Giants27 ( c  |  s ) 17:56, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 *  Giants2008  ( 17–14 ) 17:42, 26 August 2009 (UTC

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External links modified
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I have just modified one external link on Joey Hamilton. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
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