User talk:Allyssa.abacan

Question at WT:MED about prenatal care
Welcome to Wikipedia. You can read over Article size. From a glance, the latina paradox section looks like it is overly detailed, and generally speaking, like something that Wikipedia is not. In general, you can type in WP: into the search bar to find instructions on most anything around here. For example, WP:Length redirects to article size. You can also see these welcome links. Biosthmors (talk) 20:13, 9 March 2012 (UTC)

Prenatal care in the US
Hello, and welcome to Wikipedia. I made a few revisions to the article you recently made Prenatal care in the United States.
 * I changed the name because per WP:Name words in article titles are not usually capitalized (except for proper nouns).
 * I also rearranged the talk page a little (just to correspond to usual layout). It is easier to find things on talk pages if one puts a heading over each new discussion.  (Even if it is the only thing on the talk page, since more entries are likely later, it is well to use a heading.)  Please feel free to replace the heading I used ("Untitled") with something more appropriate of your own choice.  (Editing another users talk contributions is not generally done, but reformatting to match usual layout is one of those grayish areas.  So I when I do add a heading over unheaded discussion, I usually use untitled.  Especially since you are new to wikipedia I thought I would drop you a note explaining.)

Hope you enjoy your wikipedia experience. Zodon (talk) 06:17, 14 March 2012 (UTC)
 * I also made some style edits to conform to things around here and left links in my edit summaries. I left one vauge template in the article. Good idea with the split. Biosthmors (talk) 18:33, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

Thank you both for your feedback. Hopefully I have made the needed adjustments to the page. Allyssa.abacan (talk) 22:09, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. Please make sure to include an edit summary. Please provide one before saving your changes to an article, as the summaries are quite helpful to people browsing an article's history. Thanks!

This is especially important when moving material between articles. The edit summary for the cut should say that you are moving the text, and give a link to the article where the text is going. Likewise the edit where you add material should explain where it came from (and give a link to the article). This is important so other editors know where material came from, and to maintain copyright path for material. (See also Help:Merging).


 * Thank you. I added on to the edit summaries. Thanks for the link, it is really helpful.

Allyssa.abacan (talk) 14:26, 16 March 2012 (UTC)

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Replaceable fair use File:Prenatal Care in the US- LBW.jpg
Thanks for uploading File:Prenatal Care in the US- LBW.jpg. I noticed the description page specifies that the media is being used under a claim of fair use, but its use in Wikipedia articles fails our first non-free content criterion in that it illustrates a subject for which a freely licensed media could reasonably be found or created that provides substantially the same information or which could be adequately covered with text alone. If you believe this media is not replaceable, please:


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Replaceable fair use File:Prenatal Care in the US- Cleft Palate.jpg
Thanks for uploading File:Prenatal Care in the US- Cleft Palate.jpg. I noticed the description page specifies that the media is being used under a claim of fair use, but its use in Wikipedia articles fails our first non-free content criterion in that it illustrates a subject for which a freely licensed media could reasonably be found or created that provides substantially the same information or which could be adequately covered with text alone. If you believe this media is not replaceable, please:


 * 1) Go to the media description page and edit it to add, without deleting the original replaceable fair use template.
 * 2) On the image discussion page, write the reason why this image is not replaceable at all.

Alternatively, you can also choose to replace this non-free media by finding freely licensed media of the same subject, requesting that the copyright holder release this (or similar) media under a free license, or by taking a picture of it yourself.

If you have uploaded other non-free media, consider checking that you have specified how these images fully satisfy our non-free content criteria. You can find a list of description pages you have edited by clicking on [ this link]. Note that even if you follow steps 1 and 2 above, non-free media which could be replaced by freely licensed alternatives will be deleted 2 days after this notification (7 days if uploaded before 13 July 2006), per our non-free content policy. If you have any questions please ask them at the Media copyright questions page. Thank you. Eeekster (talk) 20:16, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

Feedback on Prenatal Care in the United States
As you requested, here are a few observations on your new article.


 * The lead should serve as a stand-alone summary of the article, ideally in no more than four paragraphs. A good rule of thumb is to look at each of the major sections and see if the lead includes the salient point(s) from each. I'd say that the lead ought to be something like twice its current size.


 * You need to maintain a more consistently formal tone in a Wikipedia article than in some other forms of writing, avoiding for instance the use of personal pronouns whenever possible; I notice you've got "During visits physicians will determine your due date ...". If I ever get pregnant and have a due date then I'll need a damn sight more than a prenatal check, I'll need a DNA test. You've also got an imperative: "Physicians and other health care providers should screen their patients for both abuse and sexually transmitted diseases to ensure their overall well being". Who says they should? Remember that Wikipedia isn't a "How To ..." manual telling anyone what they should or shouldn't do.

Malleus Fatuorum 19:49, 5 April 2012 (UTC)
 * The writing needs a close look at generally. A few examples:
 * "Networks of those underutilizing care and act against medical recommendations tend to be larger and of higher density in comparison to women who utilize care appropriately." Should that be "and acting against medical recommendations"?
 * "This suggests that populations affected by underutilizing care are larger than populations utilizing care accordingly." Should that be "... utilizing care appropriately"?
 * "... and are consequently hesitant to pursue prenatal testing and counseling that health professionals would consider recommendable." I haven't checked a dictionary, but I've never seen the word "recommendable" before. Does it mean recommended?
 * "Populations in an urban inner-city settings ...". Pretty obvious what's wrong there. What I tend to do is to step away from an article for a few days so that I can come back to it with fresh eyes and spot these kinds of things, which occur throughout the article. You might find it helpful at some point to request a peer review when you yourself are happy with it.
 * As this is a medical article you should strive to conform to Wikipedia's medical Manual of Style, which you can find here.
 * Ideally you'd be using review articles rather than single papers, as they'll give a broader view of the topic.
 * I don't understand how your referencing works. The sentence beginning "Goldfarb et al. found no significant differences ..." is attributed to a paper by Sesia (1996). Is that what Sesia claims that Goldfarb and his co-authors found?

Thank you. I will return to this article in two days and edit the article as best as I can. I'll make sure to take into consideration all of your observations. Allyssa.abacan (talk) 04:41, 6 April 2012 (UTC)

Prenatal care - Redirects
Please be aware that a redirect is only used if it is the ONLY content on the page. I reverted this edit where you put a #REDIRECT ... in the prenatal care article. That would have been fine if you were merging the entire contents of one article into another. However, since you were just moving part of the contents, a redirect was not appropriate. No big deal - there is a lot to learn here, and some of the help and instructions are confusing. I know it was kind of overwhelming for me at first, and I still sometimes find myself digging around trying to figure out how to do something. Just thought I would drop you a note for future reference. Zodon (talk) 04:37, 8 April 2012 (UTC)

Yeah, trying to figure out everything is kind of confusing. Thank you. Allyssa.abacan (talk) 14:10, 8 April 2012 (UTC)

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Welcome back
Great topic, infant mortality. Good to see you back. What about making the goal of getting it up to WP:GA status by the end of the semester? Maybe you can get extra credit from your professor if you do this (if this is part of an assignment). Biosthmors (talk) 02:02, 19 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Thanks, now that I have experience editing a page, maybe I will make it my goal to get the page up to a WP:GA status. I could talk to my professor about this. Thank you! Any suggestions on how to go about doing that? Allyssa.abacan (talk) 15:28, 19 September 2012 (UTC)


 * I think you should! You're welcome. It may seem intimidating at first, but I'm sure you can do it. A good article meets these criteria: it's cited to reliable sources, is neutral, hits the high points, is clear, and has some OK pictures. Sounds easy hunh? I've left some comments at the talk page for infant mortality with some ideas on things to do. Once you get things going, you can put it up for a peer review so that others can give you tips on how to meet the good article criteria, if you haven't already gotten there by that time. The most complicated part might be identifying or using reliable medical sources, when necessary. But let me know if you run into any issues there. Anyone at WP:MED should be able to help with that kind of sourcing too. By the way, I modified the presentation of your reply, with my reply, to parallel normal indentation. Best. Biosthmors (talk) 22:17, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

Further Changes
I will be focusing on Southeast Asian countries since disparities can be seen on a bigger level (Singapore and the Philippines). I will narrow down my focus to elaborate on causes (dengue fever, polio, etc) and medical infrastructure within each South East Nation I talk about. I will mainly focus on the top 5 causes of infant mortality. Information on medical infrastructure would hopefully allow readers to gain an understanding of how political structure can influence infant mortality. Also, I plan on writing about successful and failed political policies that aim(ed) to ameliorate infant mortality. Hopefully this will allow readers to grasp the root causes for high infant mortality in various countries that have varying SES status. Right now, the article is not holistically explaining infant mortality.

During my research, I will garner more academically viable resources to make this article more reliable.

I will see what I can do when considering adding/reorganizing into Epidemiology, Prevention, History, Society and culture.

Allyssa.abacan (talk) 02:33, 28 September 2012 (UTC)

Formatting
Thanks for your work on infant mortality! Per our "Manual of Style" (see WP:REFSPACE), we don't put spaces between references or after punctuation. Could you tidy up infant mortality to follow this? It would be nice. Thanks! Biosthmors (talk) 20:18, 22 October 2012 (UTC)


 * Fixed it! Thanks. Allyssa.abacan (talk) 00:37, 25 October 2012 (UTC)


 * Thanks again. Biosthmors (talk) 02:05, 25 October 2012 (UTC)

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